


A Journey Has Many Paths

by Btwurlame



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angry Little Alex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/F, F/M, Families of Choice, Genderfluid Character, M/M, Magazine AU, Mutual Pining, Past Abuse, Sassy Everyone Really, sassy thomas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-02 19:03:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 33,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10950801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Btwurlame/pseuds/Btwurlame
Summary: This is a modern day AU where our favorite revolutionaries work for Liberty Magazine. It's the story of found and chosen family, falling in love, and learning that your past doesn't have to determine your whole future.Alternatively: Alex learns more about himself than he thought he ever could while writing his new article with the help of his friends, family, and the asshole he fell in love with.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first work on Archive.  
> I'm new to the fandom and also how the site works with uploading so please bear with me while I figure it out. I don't have a beta, but I will be updating as consistently as I can. Enjoy!
> 
> Also: I definitely own no rights to these characters

Walking into 52 Mt Vernon Ave on any given day is what some would call a mixed bag. Who uses the phrase "mixed bag" is a good question, but regardless you are walking into a big unknown. 

There are things someone could expect if they knew the staff of Liberty Magazine of course. For example, that there will be at least one shouting match about the continuous lack of coffee in the break room on the main writers floor. Another almost daily occurrence is the tendency for the sports team to be betting on a game they should be covering while they attempt to make every game write up informative, exciting and worth more than a glance by readers. George Washington will walk around to each department taking in what everyone is working on at any given time making sure his staff aren't causing too many metaphorical fires and in some cases not so metaphorical ones. There will at some point be what has the resemblance of a staff meeting with the department heads most days as well.

One thing that can absolutely be counted on in the building is the sound of a fight between none other than Investigations' Alexander Hamilton an Executive editor Thomas Jefferson. 

"It needs to be cut."

"The hell it does! Without that paragraph the next two are basically gossip," Alex threw his hands up in the doorway of Thomas' office. 

"Isn't that what this entire piece is? So far it feels like you've got nothing really concrete," Thomas drawled. He took a sip of his coffee and raised a brow towards the man stomping into his office fully. 

"Listen here you giant sweet tea drinking mother-"

"That's the best you’ve got? Sweet tea? You really are in a slump," Thomas kept his tone light. 

"I am NOT in a slump," Alex practically jumped where he stood, "Even if I was in a slump which I'm not I'd out write you in my sleep asshole. Also, this is just the first piece in the series for the investigation. You'd know that if you actually paid attention to what you're reading. This will get the readers interested for when the article comes out in the July issue!"

Alex had by this point leaned over Thomas' desk to look as imposing as possible. It's not an easy thing to do when your opposition is several inches taller than you when standing. Alex took the advantage when he could. 

"Well what you've sent me has bored me to tears so-"

"Oh I'll show you tears you-"

"What, are you gonna cry about it you little-," Thomas rose from his chair and narrowed his eyes at the man across from him.

"Nothing about me is little," Alex yelled so loud the people in the desks outside on the floor went silent. He was breathing heavy and still looked ready to attack. 

Thomas barked out a surprised laugh and quickly reigned himself in while Alexander's face showed that he realized what that sounded like, "Well I'll be damned Hamilton."

"Shut up," Alex grumbled before stalking from the office without looking back at Jefferson's smug smirk. 

All the eyes that followed him from Thomas' office could suck it in Alex's opinion. Thomas could suck it. Alex wouldn't be opposed to that actually, but that was a different problem that he liked to put in the box in the far reaches of his crowded mind. 

Alex had worked at Liberty Magazine for three years now. Before he was actual staff he was a lowly intern finishing his degree in political science, economics and English. Being an intern for the magazine lasted about six months before editor and chief George Washington, called Washingdad behind his back by a great number of the staff, found Alex's blog which housed over 150 essays written on all manners of topics ranging from politics to art. The essays were well researched for such a platform. Washington had wondered what kind of person put that much work into something that they weren't being paid to do or being graded on. Who was so passionate that they wrote over 150 essays in the span of what appeared to be one year according to the blog. When Washington learned that the blog belonged to one of his staff he immediately went to meet them. He wasn’t sure what he expected, but the tiny waif of a boy that was hunched over one of the intern desks was a surprise. 

The boy had dark hair tied behind his head in a low ponytail. He wore a black zipped hooded sweater that looked too large for him. His pants looked old but clean and his shoes seemed to have seen better days. He was closed in on himself making him seem smaller than he was if possible. He was very thin and the darkness under his eyes spoke of lost sleep and probably stress. He looked rather weary to George. This boy couldn't be older than 18 and yet he seemed to be poised like an old man tired from a long life. He typed away at the keyboard in front of him without a pause to even consider what was being typed like it was the thing keeping him alive. Perhaps it was. George thought for a moment trying to recall if they had started hiring high school students. He wondered if this was really the person responsible for the blog he had found before his presence was noticed. The boys eyes widened and he stood up quickly. 

"Mr. Washington Sir how are you? I'm Alexander Hamilton and it's an honor to be here," the boy put his hand out towards George. 

George took in what he now saw. While seconds ago the boy seemed small, now he seemed to be bursting with contained energy. His eyes were bright like he had so much going on behind them that it itched to get out. He held his chin high in a way that seemed he was ready and waiting for a fight. He spoke fast but precise like he dared the words to come out sounding wrong. His smile was big like he couldn't believe he was in this moment, and the rest of his dameanor seemed to say he wasn't going to waste it. George took his hand. The handshake was firm and excited. George nodded and gave a small smile. 

"It's nice to meet you Alexander. How long have you been an intern with us?"

"About 6 months sir. I hope to apply for a position on the staff when I graduate in two months," Alex nodded decisively. 

George raised a brow, "Two months you say? That would be quite an accomplishment for someone so young. Making it on the writing staff of any magazine is tough."

"Just you wait sir," Alex laughed and glanced at the clock, "Oh shi- shoot! I have to run! Von Steuben needs this by 2," Alex quickly copied whatever he was working on onto a drive. He turned to George, "I'm sorry to have to-"

George waived his hand, "No need to apologize, I've worked in the business long enough to understand a deadline. Go on son."

Alex seemed to stop short but quickly gave a salute and ran off.

In the span of a week after their first meeting, George realized that no one else could have been the creator of the blog titled "Young Scrappy and Hungry". Alex was hired onto the staff in the investigations department in just one month. 1 year later at 21 years old he was made the youngest department head in the magazine's history. 

In the course of the three and a half years in total Alex had spent inside the walls of Liberty his life had changed considerably. 

The times before the age of 19 weren't ones he liked to think of for…well a multitude of reasons. Since the year he started at Liberty though, life was pretty good. He still didn’t have a normal sleep pattern, but he got more sleep in an actual bed most nights than he ever had. His diet was still shit, but mostly now because he forgets to eat instead of not having the money to get something to eat. He had clothes for every season now, although some would say his style is hobo-hipster dad chic (JefferSuck). Where he used to have no one but himself, he now had a group of people he would die for happily. Even Aaron Burr who was the most frustratingly un-opinionated person Alex has ever met, would find Alex ready to take a bullet for him if the occasion arrived. 

Where he used to spend any and all free time he had researching and writing essays on different topics for his blog to ease his restless mind and heart, now Alex wrote for his livelihood getting paid for it by the best magazine on the shelves. Well that was his opinion of the magazine and screw what anyone else said. 

Life was great. He just wished he didn’t have to deal with the one asshole editor in the building that tore everything Alex wrote apart while making him look like a screaming idiot to the staff on the editorial floor. 

He needed a drink before re writing. He hoped John still had beer in his mini fridge. Jefferson was not gonna win this round.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So in this chapter you're meeting more of the crew. Its more background, with some plot. 
> 
> Please leave any comment for suggestions. 
> 
> Enjoy!

John Laurens started working for Liberty the year Alexander became the head of investigations. 

John's father was a conservative senator from South Carolina that wanted his oldest son to be a lawyer like the long line of men in their family. John's father also wanted his son to be straight, republican, and good at taking orders with no questions asked. John hadn't ever been good at any of those. He had been a photographer and writer for his college's paper for all of his four years of school, and knew that journalism was where he was meant to be. 

John got hired at Liberty after a year of working odd jobs and taking freelance projects whenever possible post graduation. He was told by the man showing him around, Charles Lee, his position was not guaranteed permanent and would be determined by whether he was as good as his portfolio claimed and by how long he could deal with the insufferable head of the team he'd be working with. 

Charles Lee was a sort of stocky man whose face made him look like he smelled something foul almost constantly but was trying not to let it show. He had given John an uncomfortable once over when they met which John tried not to take offense to. It was his first day and he really wanted the job.

"Honestly if you can stand the prick for more than a few days you'll do better than most," Lee scoffed then spoke quieter, "Maybe less if Washington comes by to get his knob polished by the little ass kisser."

John stopped in his tracks in the middle of the hall. People around him were all bustling around likely unable to hear Lee's voice. John felt his fist clench as he sped up to follow into the room near the back of the basement floor. The room had five desks all facing the center. There was quite a lot of space actually, even with file cabinets and what looked like four book shelves ready to collapse from their capacity. Only one desk was occupied at the moment though. In the desk facing the door sat a slightly small man typing furiously away at his computer. 

John wondered if this was the man Lee had been talking about. The guy looked pretty young to be in charge of a team for such a big magazine; although, John supposed he himself was pretty young to land a job here. Typing away he looked like he hadn't slept in a week with three coffee cups near him that all appeared to be empty. His hair was in complete disarray falling from the elastic in the back and his eyes looked wild whether it be the screen's reflection in them or otherwise. 

"If It's not important write it down or better yet, don't bother because I probably don't care," the man said calmly without looking up from his typing.

Lee's face twisted, "Washington couldn't be here to personally supply his new present to his bitch so I'm delivering him."

John whipped around to face Lee.

"What the fuck is your deal," John couldn't help but get out while trying not to snap too violently. 

Alexander finally looked up from his screen with a scowl which turned into surprise at seeing John looking at Lee instead of towards him.

"Oh don't mind Charlie," Alexander said, "He's just jealous because he fucks up like every chance Washington keeps giving him," he stood from his chair.

"Listen hear you flaming cocksucker," Lee starts but doesn’t finish. He doesn't get to finish because John punched him in the center of his face hard enough to watch blood burst from his nose. Lee staggered back and moved like he was going to swing at John but before he could Alex was jumping in between them looking ready to punch Lee himself. 

The next few minutes were filled with shouting by Lee, John, Alex, and finally George Washington. John was certain that he had just thrown away his new job and was pretty pissed at himself for it, but he just couldn't stand there and listen to Lee talk. He didn’t even know Alexander Hamilton but he sure as hell knew that no matter the man's supposed faults, Lee was a hateful dick. 

Lee was sent home after he claimed he was emotionally and physically in turmoil. Washington made it clear as Lee left that he was lucky John had decided to stop what Lee had been saying with his fist when he had because it sounded like it could have been grounds for dismissal. Lee made a hasty retreat after that. 

John explained what went down since he met Lee and Washington eventually sighed, "This will not happen again," the man looked at John seriously before continuing, "I won't have this kind of infighting no matter what insults are said. If it crosses the line you talk to me and I'll handle it. Is that clear," Washington didn't look as pissed as John thought he'd be. He looked more disappointed, and that made John feel worse. Then John realized what the said.

"Sir…you're not firing me?"

"Of course he's not," Alex exclaimed as if this was a common occurrence, "Your portfolio is great! You're a little inexperienced but that’s not an issue. I can see the potential! It will be great," Alex smiled and when he did john couldn't help join him. John heard a tired sigh from his side and could only imagine the look on the chief's face before leaving the office to go back up to the forth floor. In the span of the afternoon John and Alex started a friendship that would last their lifetime. 

John liked his job. No, he loved his job. Sure there was a lot of frustration, long nights, and disappointments, but it was so worth it to see the fruits of their labor in the end. When he first started with the team he thought they would be covering a new subject or investigation every month. The previous team that inhabited this room did just that. It was almost standard, or at least as standard as Liberty magazine's variety could get.

Alex wanted to do things differently. Instead of spending a month writing one article on a topic and calling it a day, he wanted more. He said If they were going to write articles that were surface deep he could do every issue himself. He had a whole team that he was learning to utilize instead of taking on everything himself like he used to apparently. He had spoken passionately to Washington about how people read about something in a magazine article that was more an overview of a problem than anything more deep. People would get concerned about things and maybe you'd read a another small blurb in another magazine, but then it was on the back burner. 

Alex wanted to make a series for every subject they did. He proposed that every series would be 5 articles instead of 1. For five months readers would get the whole story available delving into any avenue they could get down. Readers were introduced to problems and movements, the players involved, victims, survivors, the psychology of a story, experts, and the future of whatever narrative they took. It required a lot of work for the team, but it garnered more readers returning for at least the investigation section if they were interested enough in whatever series they were working on. Turned out people were definitely interested. 

A couple years later John sat in his own desk in that very same room trying to decide if he wanted tacos for lunch while playing phone tag with a source he was chasing. He also wondered if Laf would be back from where they were in time to get lunch together. 

Their team was made up of Alex, John, Peggy Schuyler, Hercules Mulligan, and of course Lafayette.

Peggy worked for the magazine along with her two sisters Angelica and Eliza. Angelica worked on the main writer's floor on four and wrote with the economy and politics team. She was definitely a go getter, and didn't take shit from anyone when it came to her work or…well really anything. John was also mildly scared of her. Alex pretty much wanted to be her. Eliza worked in the arts section of the magazine. She was the middle sister and probably one of the sweetest people John had every met. John had been sure Alex was in love with her when he was introduced, and soon realized that it was impossible for anyone not to be in love with Eliza "cinnamon roll" Schuyler at least a little bit. 

Eliza it seemed was actually dating Hercules Mulligan. Hercules had a large build that seemed to be made to crush buildings, but was so much more of a teddy bear. Hercules was good at cooling both John and Alex down when they got too excited about something or too incensed. Alex once drunkenly told John he thought Hercules had the superpower of altering people's moods and that he uses it for good, but also sometimes evil. Alex said that was the reason Herc was exceptionally good at getting information from tight lipped sources. The man was also a tailor. He found this out when Hercules stole almost all of Alex's pants and altered their length for what he claimed was for the reputation of their team. Alex had flipped the man off at the time, but also gave him an quick awkward hug before ignoring everyone for the rest of that afternoon. John learned that Hercules made a lot of Eliza's clothes because she was his favorite muse (his actual words). 

Peggy Schuyler was a bit of a wild card, and that's saying something when you're best friends with Alexander Hamilton. She was very good at playing the unassuming bystander but man… was that a con. She was a damn good member of the team for that very reason. She was also genuinely great to be around once you made it into her circle. She was always down to be your partner in crime, always ready to gossip and also always ready to sass the hell out of you. 

In this room, John met his best friends. 

John also met the love of his life. 

That first day after Washington had retreated to his office Alex started asking hundreds of questions about John and his life. Who did he vote for, what did he like to read, what were his thoughts on feminism…they discussed anything that jumped into Alex's mind. They had been talking for a while before the door swung open.

"Lafayette! You're here, good," Alex rose from his chair with a open smile of his face, "Come meet John. He's our new writer. He's an awesome photographer too."

John stood up and turned to say hi when he suddenly slammed his mouth shut. Standing in front of him with big eyes adorned with winged eyeliner, perfect cheekbones, and the fluffiest ponytail was a deity that stepped right out of John's dreams. 

John reached his hand out to shake, but the dream instead leaned forward and placed a kiss on each of his cheeks and gave a brief hug before leaning back with a smile.

"Bonjour John! I am Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette, but please just call me Lafayette as I know my name is far too much," Lafayette's accent rolled melodically off his tongue. The French god was probably about four inches taller than John. Their skin was a perfect shade of chocolate that contrasted so well with their dark hair and bright eyes. Their smile lit up the room and made John's chest expand and want to burst.

John couldn't help the smile that seemed to get bigger on his own face.

"Lafayette it is then. It's a pleasure to meet you man," John chuckled.

Lafayette seemed to wince before smiling again, "I look forward to working with you."

"Oh did I, did I say something," John frowned.

"Oh no," Lafayette waived the concern away, "You did nothing mon ami I am just being…uh silly. Don't worry." 

"He's cool Laf you should tell him," Alex gestured to John, "In fact you just missed him practically braking Lee's nose for being a prejudiced bag of dicks," Alex laughed, "I wish you could have seen it."

John felt himself blush at the look he was receiving from the two, "I am never gonna live that down."

"Definitely not! It was brilliant," Alex sounded so resolute. 

"I am sorry to have missed it," Lafayette frowned, "What was he saying this time?"

"Homophobic asshole shit," John grumbled.

Lafayette's eyes seemed to consider John. They must have seen something good because when they next opened their mouth it was to say, "I'm am what you would call non binary or gender fluid. I don't really feel completely male or female most days, but somewhere in between. I like to go by they/them and I hope that does not make you uncomfortable but we are to be working together… closely non? I feel it should be said so we can learn to work around each other," Lafayette seemed to loose a bit a steam near then end. He looked a little nervous. John never wanted to see them look that unsure again. 

"Oh! My bad," John winced, "I gotta try and remember to not just call people man, and bro. It's like I never left college. If I do it again don’t be afraid to throw something at me," John blushed and hoped Lafayette would warm up to him. 

It seemed his response surprised Lafayette. They smiled, "Oh non I will not throw anything at you. You are a good one. I can tell these things," he looked at Alex, "You did good mon petit lion. We must keep him."

I took John a whole year to work up the courage to ask Laf out much to Alex's incredulousness. That whole year had been filled with learning how amazing a person Laf was inside and out. He felt so full of love for them that John honestly felt like he would burst with it most days. Alex claimed if he had to see the two of them dance around their "way more than friendship" any longer he was going to send John the bill for his psychiatrist. When John finally asked he was met with a sigh of relief and a "I worried you'd never ask". The two of them just celebrated their year anniversary a month ago. 

The music playing in John's ear cut off finally indicating he should leave a message. 

John closed his eyes in irritation, "Hello this is John Laurens again calling for my request to speak with Mr. Ross….," John left his spiel before hanging up and dropping his head on the desk.

The series they were going to begin next was one brought up while at a job fair at a local university a few months back. Five of the staff including Alex, Lafayette and Angelica were passing out pamphlets and talking to students about clubs to get involved with for a future in journalism when Angelica had noticed a car parked that looked like it was packed to the windows. 

"What is with the hoard," she had frowned at the student getting out from the car across the way.

"Don’t just stare at her," Alex had snapped from beside her without raising his eyes from writing notes. 

The four at the table with him had been surprised by the venom in his voice at the quiet inquiry. 

Angelica held her hands up in surrender for once, "I was just curious. It seems odd in this place is all."

"Not everyone can afford to live in the dorms or has a family nearby," Alex had shrugged. 

"Wait," Laf sat up in his chair, "You're suggesting she lives in her car."

Alex looked contrite but nodded, "This campus is actually pretty safe comparatively. They have a 24 hour gym open to students with showers and facilities. They have a cafeteria. Also, their library is also 24 hours for when the weather gets bad. There are worse places to be living in your car," the way he'd said it spoke from experience. Something that stuck in Lafayette's mind. 

The next team meeting Laf had suggested writing about homeless youth and the systems that fail them. Alexander had tried to table the idea for later, but Laf was persuasive and the rest of the team completely outvoted Alex. 

John raised his head from his desk just as Alex stormed in the door looking thunderous. 

"How did it go," John asked knowing his answer already but knowing Alex would want a jumping point for the rant he was sure to have ready. 

"That smug asshole knows shit about how to grab the reader's attention. Says he was bored to tears…probably because he doesn’t give a shit about anything that has to do with anyone below his tax bracket. The language is sloppy…my language is NOT sloppy," the man seethed while grabbing a beer from the mini fridge in John's corner, "He tried to cut an entire section needed for the next piece, he was wearing those damn glasses again, and the whole third floor now thinks I either have a huge dick or a very small one," Alex slumped into one of the bean bags Peggy insisted on buying. Sometimes they come up with their best ideas in those chairs.

"Where to start," John smiled, "Okay one, you don't have to cut the section just shorten it as a sort of teaser for the next article. I know you've already done that in your head, so I'm just agreeing essentially. Two, the language isn't sloppy. He's just saying that because he knows you can be more concise. We don't want it cold and concise though so you'll just have to make it more….uh flowery for the lack of a better phrase." John watched Alexander drink his beer like a cranky child with a juice box, "Three, you've mentioned those glasses before. Do they really bother you, or do they make you hot and bothered?"

Alex choked on his drink and sputtered, "What are you talking," he coughed, "No! I am not nor have I ever been hot and bothered by that southern dick!"

John laughed, "Oh you definitely want to be bothered by some southern dick alright," John ducked when Alex through a pen at him, "You fool no one but yourself Alex…well maybe Jefferson."

"Shut up," Alex awkwardly tried to get up from the bean bag without letting go of his beer, "You are the worst best friend ever. It's over. I'm putting an add out in the paper for a new one...one that loves me and supports my hatred of assholes like Jefferson."

John rolled his eyes but helped Alex up anyway, "I'm so sorry," John dramatically took Alex in his arms making the shorter man laugh, "Please forgive me! I can't lose you. You can't quit me."

"Okay okay," Alex finally stopped laughing after John let him free, "You're forgiven fucker."

"I can sleep well tonight then," They both sat at their desks. John picked up his phone to call in lunch then scrunched his face up after a minute of silence, "Wait why is the third floor talking about your dick?"


	3. Chapter 3

Thomas couldn't help the smile on his face as Alex stormed out of the office. Thomas was never under an illusion about how he felt for Alex. From the very beginning of their acquaintanceship he felt something running below the surface of all their interactions. Well HE felt them, but he wasn’t so sure Alex ever did. A guy could hope though.

Thomas was hired as executive editor a year and a half ago. Up until then Thomas had been working in a room full of people who only knew chief George Washington by reputation. So, when the man had come to talk to Thomas personally about the job Thomas was all ears. 

"You're job will entail looking over many different things from every department, but for the most part you will be personally editing for investigations," Washington sat behind his desk looking commanding in his chair but not too intimidating. It was strange how he could do that, "Alexander Hamilton does the final writing drafts for the team and the last editor in charge of them...quit about a week ago."

Thomas raised a brow, "Oh?"

George nodded, "The team is good. They work well together, and Alexander is a bright young man," he leaned forward in his seat bracing himself on the desk, "he's ambitious in his writing, but more importantly he's passionate. I've seen your work Thomas. You're a good writer, Persuasive. I believe that together you two will be amazing. Guide him when he needs to find his center again. Learn and succeed together."

Thomas understood why Washington had been the chief for so long now. The man was damn charismatic

"I'll do my best sir, thank you," The two of them stood and Thomas shook the older man's hand. 

"Oh and Thomas," George said with the gleam of a smile, "Try not to kill each other."

At the time Thomas thought nothing of the comment, but within a month he realized Washington wasn't joking. 

Alexander Hamilton was an absolute mess. Thomas sent almost all of his drafts back covered in red corrections and comments. The two of them fought (still do) and the rest of the building was sure there would be bloodshed. 

The thing was though…Alex was brilliant. Where the man could go on for six paragraphs about some inane thing that didn't matter he could also move you with a new perspective or description that left you unable to forget. So in the beginning it was a rollercoaster of ups and downs, but slowly the two of them started to figure each other out. 

Thomas learned that Alex would always go off on tangents that weren't needed but his mind still couldn't help but supply. Thomas would merely cut them without bitching about how useless they were and move on. Alex seemed to learn that Thomas hated having to make something more flowery in language. Alex made a habit of trying out different ways so Thomas could choose what he thought sounded best in print. In time, the two worked as a good team. It seemed Washington had been right about the two of them. They reined each other in and also amplified each other at the same time. 

The series that the team was working on currently was about the foster care system, and more of a spotlight on the homeless youth in New York. The first part Alex had sent him was a bit…flat. For someone who had once written a sonnet about chicken nuggets (Alex had emailed it to Thomas at 3 AM) it seemed that things weren't going all that well. Thomas pulled up his email.

TO: MJLAFAYETTE@libertymagazine.com  
FROM: TJEFFS@libertymangazine.com

SUBJECT: What's the Deal?

I know Alex wanted to pick another topic for the series, but it looks like a fifteen year old wrote the first draft I just destroyed. Have any insight?

-Thomas-

Thomas clicked around his inbox answering some of the mail he had neglected while slicing though the article earlier. Alex would no doubt be writing tonight until someone (probably John) dragged him out to go home. Technically the first article didn't need to be done until next month since there were still two left from the last series to run, but Alex was a basket case. 

TO: TJEFFS@libertymagazine.com  
FROM: MJLAFAYETTE@libertymagazine.com

RE: What's the Deal?

He does seem to be very clinical about it. I think that's the word I'd use. Does the article feel like that? I will try to get some more out of him although he seems not to want to go on and on about this one. That isn't exactly normal either. I will try to find out. I know you worry about your sweetheart.

-Lafayette-

Thomas shot off a reply of "shut up jerk" rolling his eyes. It seemed that pretty much everyone knew how Thomas felt about Alex except for the man himself. Thomas sat back and looked over the notes he had on the first draft. It did seem clinical…detached. It was full of stats and general statements. Maybe Alex was in a slump like Thomas had said…but he didn’t think so. 

\------------------ 

Social Services had been chaotic when walking in. Lafayette navigated around row after row of desks filled with people on the phone or meeting with people. They could only really spot two empty desk as far as the floor was visible. The place was packed. Laf got to speak to a Norman Burns who had been working for the city for more than thirty years. 

"Thank you for seeing me. I know you're busy," Laf took the seat across from the man's desk. Burns was in his late fifties with greying hair and tired eyes. His desk was practically covered in files aside from the corner which sat a picture of Burns with a woman looking roughly the same age as Burns. 

"It's no trouble. I was interested when I heard the focus of your article."

"Something you see a lot of? Homeless kids?"

Burns sighed, "Unfortunately we can't control everything."

Laf nodded, "So tell me about yourself. How did you become a social worker?"

"Well, my mom was one so I guess it was kinda the family business," he smiled.

"And if you could go back would you do it again?"

Without hesitating he answered, "Yeah I would."

"Oh," Laf raised their brow, "Why is that? This place seems…uh kinda crazy."

"Well I guess that's why I'd still do it. You see all these people," he gestured around the office, "There isn't one person in here that's not over stressed and over worked. We're doing our best to put a cap on the never ending spill of kids and teens getting stuck in the system. We can't save them all but…" he trailed off.

"But?" 

"The ones we can help still need us. I've had some of the worst days on the job… seen things I wish weren't real, but I've also seen some of the kids I've worked with grow up and start their own families...get married…make something of themselves. It makes all this," he gestured around again, "Worth it."

They talked for about an hour before Burns had to leave for an appointment. Lafayette stopped his recording and thanked the man for his time before leaving. They got some good material from Burns. The man had a lot of war stories about bad policy, and the need for more funding and better training. It would be good for the series. 

Laf thought about Alex as he rode in the cab emailing Thomas. They knew there was more to the way Alex was acting, but without getting Alex to talk it was hard to guess what the problem was. They hoped Thomas would be able to figure it out. Thomas could always get through the Alex's walls. 

Laf felt his phone go off. 

From: Mon Coeur <3  
Hey baby!  
From: Mon Coeur <3  
I hope you're done soon cause tacos will be here in 20 

He smiled 

To: Mon Coeur <3  
You read my mind! I want tacos soooooooo bad! I LOVE YOU!

From: Mon Coeur <3  
I love you too!  
Alex is in a post Jefferson fight phase btw. He's angrier than normal

To: Mon Coeur <3  
We should get him out of the office tomorrow. You should take him with you to that boarding house interview you have. Maybe it will help oui?

From: Mon Coeur <3  
Yes dear…

To: Mon Coeur<3  
:-*

Laf pocketed his phone again and let his mind drift.

The first time Lafayette saw John Laurens they thought "Mon dieu look at those freckles…I want to kiss every one of them" and of course the next thought was "Calm yourself child he's new and probably tragically straight". 

They had an almost awkward first meeting that ended better than Laf had predicted. It was obvious that Alex got along with the other man like an old friend returning home, and probably because of that it didn’t take Laf long get comfortable with John and call him a friend. 

John's smile was infectious. His laugh was unlike anything they'd ever witnessed (Laf might be biased). John was so friendly with people and vibrant in his fury when it came the wrongness in the world. Laf could listen endlessly to John speak about the causes he believed in, and John was also one of the most attentive listeners taking in everything said like he would be graded on it later. John gave the shirt off his back to a friend in need. Of course Laf couldn't neglect to think about how damn sexy John could be without trying with his shy smiles and southern charm. Laf was absolutely besotted with him. 

That first year of just friendship was torture. Laf couldn't believe it when John nervously asked them out on an actual date. They'd practically pounced on the man in answer saying "I was worried you'd never ask" as if Laf actually saw it coming. They didn’t see it coming…like at all. Laf had truly believed that their feelings were one sided, but so happy to be wrong. 

Laf had never been in love before John. Not in romantic love at least. John accepted every piece of Lafayette including the pieces Laf wished didn’t exist. John kissed every insecurity away with such care. John built Laf up when they needed it. He was the reason they found the strength inside to finally wear clothes that were considered to most people feminine outside the comfort of home. John made Lafayette feel like they could wear anything, be be anything. Laf held every piece of John close to his heart from his daddy issues to his obsession with baby animals. Laf wanted to spend the rest of their life with John. The hard part was figuring out how to ask the man. 

\----------------------

"Hey so tomorrow we're gonna talk to one of the boarding homes I got in touch with," John said to his friend who was typing while drinking a beer with a straw. 

"Can't, I'm writing," Alex didn’t look up.

"Well you can finish writing when we get back," and before Alex could form his complaint continued, "Laf insisted you go."

Alex sighed more dramatically than necessary "Fine. If mama Laf says so…"

"Watch your tone young man."

"Can't do anything ugh," Alex smirked.

The two worked with only the sound of typing in the room for a while until Lafayette came in with bags full of food containers.

"I ran into a lovely boy out front who gave me all these tacos. John I think you need to, how you say, step up your game," they smiled at John's scandalized look.

"Tell that punk to watch it. Imma show him where he can put his tacos," he made a show of dipping Laf like a movie and kissing them.

"In my mouth," Alex continued to type without looking up, "he can put them there."

Laf raised a brow, "Mon petit, that was borderline obscene."

Alex finally lifted his head and gave the two a look, "Really? From you?"

"Tacos!"

All three heads turned towards the two other people making their way in the room. Peggy immediately grabbed a taco and ate half in one bite. She gave Lafayette a kiss on the cheek with her mouth full. Laf pushed her off laughing. 

"You act as though you didn't eat a family size bag of chips just an hour ago," Hercules said while giving John and Laf fist bumps. 

"The baby is hungry and needs all the food she can get," Peggy shrugged. 

"Baby?! What baby," Laf exclaimed.

"Me. I'm the baby, duh," Peggy gave a shit eating grin that was met with three unamused stares and a laugh from Alex.

"Anyway," John looked to the new arrivals, "What'd you guys get?"

Herc gathered his notes, "Well, we found the girl you guys saw on campus-"

"Wait," Alex's head finally popped up from his typing, "I thought you were going to talk to the admin and the community outreach group on campus." 

"I did," Peggy said, "and while I was bleeding them dry for information Herc was trying to score an interview."

"Yeah but she didn't seem to keen on giving one. Said she was too busy and didn't think it would be a good idea," Herc sighed, "I did find a few others willing to talk from the community outreach group. They're couch surfing or rooming with like six people. A couple of them were from the foster system."

"Do you think the girl could be persuaded to talk eventually," Laf inquired. 

"I doubt it," Alex had already gone back to his typing.

"Well we should try anyway," Laf eyed Alex.

"I got her schedule," Peggy produced a paper printout.

"How the hell," John started, "you know what no, I'm not surprised."

"She's pretty loaded down with units. Looks like a law student judging by her classes," Peggy shook her head at the schedule, "She's taking a lot of classes for someone who's living the way she is."

"She doesn't have the same kind of distractions as other students," Alex spoke more quietly, "She has different priorities."

"What do you mean," Laf asked.

"Most college students are experiencing new things like balancing dorm life, friends, relationships, parties, dramas, new schedules. They have all these things to fit in and it distracts them. She has survival to worry about. When you don't have a ton of resources to choose from you take what you can get. She's probably worked out what resources are available and sticks to them. She's focusing on school because it's the one thing she has. School is what's gonna get her past just surviving, why wouldn't she put everything she has into it."

Laf felt an uncomfortable lump in their throat. They were distantly aware that everyone was looking at Alex. Alex had sounded so matter of fact about it. Laf quickly moved the group on to something else before Alex caught the rest of them sharing a look. 

\----------------------------

"Why is it so early," Alex whined from his spot next to John practically cuddled to the man's side in an effort to stay warm.

"Because the woman I spoke with requested we come early in the day for scheduling purposes, "John pulled Alex closer and walked them to the door of a large house. 

"Woah this is a huge place," Alex looked up towards the roof.

"It used to be some rich families house before it was turned into boarding," John rang the bell. 

Alex read the small metal plate that declared the building "Magdalena Children's Home established 1971". The place had been renovated in the nineties to modernize it and add disabled access. Magdalena's housed fifty kids ranging from 4 to 17 years old. There were 6 staff members living inside and another 5 living offsite that rotated in and out for relief. That was what could be found on the homes website.

The door opened to reveal a dark haired woman looking to be maybe in her late forties, "Good morning. May I help you?"

John smiled and extended his hand, "Hi! I'm John Laurens with Liberty Magazine and this," he gestured to his side, "Is my colleague Alexander Hamilton. I spoke with someone about maybe interviewing some staff for our article?"

The woman smiled and opened the door wider, "Oh yes yes, come in. I'm Silvia Hernandez. We spoke on the phone," She shook both Alex and John's hand before leading them into what appeared to be a recreation room in the front of the house. Silvia and John sat down in two of the chairs.

"Mind if I take a look around the place while you guys talk? Maybe get some descriptions," Alex gestured behind him.

Silvia nodded, "Sure. The only other staff here at the moment is Charles. He's in the basement working on laundry. All I ask is that you stay out of any closed door and don't touch anything inside the open ones if you step inside. We try to give these kids some resemblance of privacy," At Alex's nod she continued, "None of the kids are here right now. They should all be at school."

Alex was surprised she'd said yes. Most people didn't like press snooping around unsupervised. This place either had nothing to hide that Alex would find, or Silvia was just too trusting. Maybe a little of both. 

Alex walked around the first floor through a large dining room. There were three long banquet style tables designed more for function than for style. It looked big enough to have all the house occupants eat at once. The kitchen was just beyond the dining room. It looked like a cafeteria kitchen equipped with a large stove and oven. The counters and appliances were all stainless steel and shiny like they were kept polished. The panty was stocked with bulk food purchases, but Alex could make out random snack foods kept organized as well. Alex turned to the massive refrigerator and felt a small smile form. The fridge was covered in finger paintings and drawings. There were a couple of term paper stuck to it a well. He read the papers quickly before moving on. 

The second floor had mostly open doors. The rooms had two or three twin beds in each one with neutral walls and dressers. This must have been the smaller children's floor. Alex noticed most of the beds had at least one stuffed animal on them. Some of the dressers had photos on them. Some did not. 

The third floor was mostly closed doors. This was definitely the older children's floor. 

Alex nearly collided with a body coming out of one of the doors,"Oh I'm sorry," Alex stepped aside out of instinct.

"Who are you," the young man asked. He looked Alex up and down suspiciously.

"Alexander Hamilton," Alex put his hand out to shake, "I work for Liberty Magazine. We're writing an article and wanted to talk to the staff here about the place."

The kid took his hand hesitantly, "No Shit? I mean-"

Alex laughed, "Don’t worry I won’t rat you out for cussing. I thought everyone was supposed to be at school," Alex raised a brow at the boy.

"Oh yeah they are. I have a free period in the morning cause I'm a senior with too many credits anyway."

"Senior huh? What's your name?"

"Dante. Dante Williams."

"While you have a free period mind if I asked you some questions?"

"Sure," Dante shrugged and gestured to the room he just exited, "There's not much seating but you can take Joe's bed."

"That's cool," Alex sat on the bed opposite Dante and turned his voice recorder on.

"Uh I'm not sure what to say," Dante rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"How did you come to stay here," Alex asked and then added quickly, "And remember you don't have to talk about anything you don't want to." 

The boy nodded, "Uh well, it was really only me and my dad when I was young. Mom was an addict and bounced when I was like one I guess. Never met her after. Dad and me lived with my grandma until she died when I was like 4. I don't really remember anything about her except for the perfume she wore. Dad and me moved to Hell's Kitchen after that and lived there for years," Dante got a wistful smile on his face.

"What was your dad like?"

"He was...kind," Dante took a minute before continuing, "He was a mechanic. Knew everything there was to know about fixing cars...fixing anything really. He taught me everything he could. I was always trying to help him around the shop and around the block. He was always helping the neighbors fix stuff in his free time. They would just pay him back in food they'd cook for like anything he fixed. My dad wasn't a good cook but there was always a mom, grandma, or aunt that hooked us up. The neighborhood really took care of each other ya know? I started taking things apart around the house and putting them back together by myself. Sometimes they didn’t work after I did, " Dante laughed, "Dad never got mad about it though. He got frustrated when the coffee machine stopped working one time but he just fixed it," he paused again seeming to swallow hard, "I was 13 when he died. Some drunk driver came around the corner too fast one night when dad was walking home. He didn't make it to the hospital."

Alex knew there was nothing he could say that would make the wound hurt less for Dante. He hated it when adults tried to say they were sorry we he was younger like it would do any good.

"Have you been here ever since," Alex questioned quietly.

Dante cleared this throat, "Yeah. I got pretty lucky being sent here right away. Joe, "he gestured to the bed Alex sat on, "Went to like four different places before here."

"You two close?"

Dante smiled, "He's my best friend. The dude is so sarcastic and pessimistic but at the same time… like not? Does that make sense? We've been room mates since I got here when I was 13. Don't know what I'd do if not for him sometimes," he shook his head, "We're gonna get a place together and go to school. Mr. Hernandez is helping us look for places while we work on getting into NYU. Joe's so worried all the time about the future, so I keep trying to motivate him. Cause I sure as hell ain't going by myself."

"You're not worried," Alex raised a brow. Just looking at him, Alex could see how much nervous energy was running below the surface. 

Dante let out a shaky breath, "Don't publish this okay," Alex nodded immediately, "I'm terrified."

"Why?"

"I don't know I just…like what if I'm not cut out for college? All those other kids going to school had parents like prepping them for it and guiding them to a bright future of being doctors and shit but like…what if I fail? What happens then? I should just get a job as a mechanic like my dad and get a place and just…I don't know. I mean in 6 months I'm 18 and out of here. There's no help if shit gets to be too much at school," Dante was taking more shaky breathes. 

Alex knew the weight that sat in Dante's chest. The feeling of crushing reality and doubt. Alex still felt that a lot even when he tried to focus on other things. It wasn't the same though. Now Alex had people in his life, and a home, and a place to work with people in it that made life worth living. Looking at Dante, Alex realized he wished he had someone to talk about those things when he was the other boy's age. Maybe that's what this needed to be. Maybe this series wasn't for people reading that felt sorry for these kids. Maybe this needed to be for the kids that needed to hear they weren't alone. They could make it through tomorrow.

"Dante listen to me," Alex waited until Dante's eyes met his own, "I read your paper downstairs. The one on the evolution of engines and fuel sources. It was really good. You're a smart kid. If you want to skip the college route and become a mechanic you absolutely can. You'd be good at it I'm sure. That's a respectable trade, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. But, "Alex leaned forward looking as seriously as he could, "if you talk yourself out of college because you're afraid you can't cut it? That it matters that you came from a different place than the other students? You'll regret it for the rest of your life. You could be a mechanical engineer creating new things yet to be thought of. You could decide to change your major after year like I did. I started out as a law student and look where I am now. You deserve to go to school just as much as anyone else. Hell, you've probably had to work harder to get here than most. Hard work and determination trumps inherent smarts any day. You may work twice as hard to get there, but god Dante it will be so worth it. Keep you're head above water and," Alex paused, "I know that sometimes it feels like you have to be positive with people like Joe, but let him help with what's going on inside here," Alex gestured to his head and then chest, "It's something I wish I was better at. It makes things way better."

Dante wiped a stray tear from under his eye and nodded. The two of them stood up.

"Thanks Mr. Hamilton," Dante said quietly, "I Think I need to write some more scholarship essays," he gave a smile.

"Call me Alex," he fished out on of his cards and handed to Dante, "If you ever want to talk I'm pretty much always awake. It's got my email on there too"

Dante took the card and nodded, "Yeah I might take you up on that."

\-------------------

Alex walked Dante out to the front step. They laughed about the newest episode of Doctor Who. It turned out Dante and Joe were huge fans like Alex. 

"I forgot that Dante left later in the morning," Silvia commented when Alex came back into the rec room and sat next to John. 

"I ran into him in the hall," Alex said. 

Silvia smiled fondly, "Dante is a good boy. He's been with us for four years. He's getting ready to graduate."

"He mentioned your husband was helping he and his friend Joe apply for school and find an apartment."

"Yes. My husband David is actually out looking at a place right now. near the campus."

"You get quite involved in the children's lives then?"

"When you live and work in a place like this it's impossible not too. Everyone needs someone to care," she said.

"You and David met here? Do you have any kids of your own," John asked.

"No, no kids of our own. We aren't able to conceive. Not that we really needed to have any," she laughed, "We have about fifty. We met here in 2003 actually. We just clicked. We've been married for 12 years."

"Twelve years and fifty kids, you guys weren't messing around," Alex joked and made both John and Silvia laugh.

\-------------------

"What was the rest of the place like," John asked when they made it into the cab.

"Pretty nice actually. Two or three beds in a room. The second floor was the younger kids, third floor was the older ones. The back courtyard has a jungle gym and basketball court. The place is clean and open. The fridge is covered in finger paintings, and the pantry is stocked," Alex said while shooting off emails no doubt to himself for later. 

"Huh."

"Huh what?"

"I guess I just didn't picture a place like that having paintings and stuff on the fridge like a…regular home," John shrugged.

"Private boarding houses like that try to make the place feel more like a home. I don't know if it's because the placement in them is more permanent or not. State group homes are more like minimum security prisons. You keep whatever stuff you're allowed to keep with you as long as it's contained to your room. Those places are for more temporary placement. Kids are lucky to end up in a place like Magdalena's. Most of them are probably never going back to their biological families for one reason or another."

"What about foster families?"

"Those are a gamble. Some get lucky with a decent family or guardian. A few get real lucky and either get adopted or get to go back to their biological family. A lot end up in…undesirable places."

John just starred at his best friend still looking at his phone. It was like the goggles he saw Alex through got knocked askew and he was noticing the blinders he had on. He tried to conjure what he really knew about Alex's life before the man came to Liberty Magazine. Once Alex had mentioned he came from a small island in the Caribbean named Nevis, but gave no other details besides it being hot in the summer. Was that all John knew? John started to piece together in head all the times anyone in their friends group shared something of the past and how Alex was so good at deflecting. Why was he so good at deflecting? Why didn't John know more about Alex and where he came from? How did he let that happen?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are you actually flirting with me Alexander Hamilton? For real?"
> 
> "Have been for a year thanks for noticing."

Once back at the office, the early afternoon was actually quiet for the most part. Each team member was doing some independent research on their sources and emailing while Alex typed away finishing the first article for review. 

John pulled up his instant messenger.

Jlaurens: I have a question

HMulligan: Does it have to do with the fact Alex isn't in this chat?

PSchuyler: Pretty shady John…

MJLafayette: What is your question mon cher?

JLaurens: What do any of you know about Alex from before the time he was working or interning here?

HMulligan: I know he graduated early from high school and went to college when he was like 16 or 17 I think. 

PSchuyler: I know that he lost his virginity to a guy named Chad. He sounded like a total fuck boi and his name does to.

MJLafayette: His first language was French although he learned Spanish very young as well. Didn't you say he came from an island in the Caribbean?

JLaurens: Yeah and that's like all I know 

PSchuyler: Are you mad you didn’t know about Chad? I could give you the details…

MJLafayette: I think John is more mad that we do not know anymore than what we've just shared. 

MJLafayette: John calm down I can see you clenching your jaw. 

PSchuyler: I have to admit I'm kind of irritated about this now too. Like what the shit? We share things all the time and talk about everything. How did we not notice that Alex is like the king of deflection?

HMulligan: Why is this coming up now John? 

John took a breath to calm himself before typing.

JLaurens: I think this series is hitting to close to home for Alex. I think that's why he's acting so cagey about it. 

John looked up at the other three in the chat and watched as realization dawned on their faces. Peggy frowned and looked to be thinking hard about something. Herc nodded, his face seemed to say "so many things make sense now", and Laf sighed really loud. Alex was too engrossed in his writing to notice or look up. 

MJLafayette: We must tread with caution. 

"Aha," Alex shot up from his chair just then causing the team to turn their heads. He cracked his knuckles and then grabbed the water bottle that was sitting unopened next to his hand. He opened the bottle and drank it without taking a break before throwing the bottle across the room missing the trashcan and turning to the team. 

"You okay there buddy," Herc smirked.

"I just sent the draft to Jefferson. I may have changed the focus of the series…slightly. Hear me out though," Alex raised his hands seeing the rest of the team looking incredulous at the change, "It's still the same series, but instead of focusing on the crumbing policy and infrastructure head on we do it through other means."

"How do you mean," Peggy asked. 

"We interview past foster kids, homeless kids, adopted kids. We talk to our sources to find these people and get their story. Readers will hear about the affects of this fucked up thing happening not just by the people working in it, but by the people that lived it. This story should be not only be for the readers who don’t know enough about the system, but for the kids out there living in it thinking that…that's all there is," Alex cleared his throat and continued, "maybe somebody else's story can give one of these kids something to look forward to."

There was a silence as everyone looked towards their friend. 

"I gotta find our campus girl," Herc started looking through his notes noticing Alex's body language start to shift into defense. 

John nodded and picked up his desk phone, "I'll call Magdalena's. I'm sure the Hernandez' have some names for us."

"Oh yes," Laf exclaimed, "Burns has thirty years of people we could talk to," They pulled up their email. 

Peggy got up from her chair and erased the white board they kept for brainstorming. She grabbed the marking and wrote in all caps, "WHERE ARE THEY NOW? WHO TELLS THEIR STORY?"

Alex smiled at his team, "I'm gonna go make sure Jefferson doesn't fuck my draft up," and waltzed out of the room. 

Before getting all the way out of the room Alex heard Laf yell, "Tell Thomas we are all going to The General tonight!"

\------------------------------

Thomas had just sat down in his chair after a boring meeting with Aaron Burr when his computer notified him he'd received documents from Alex. Thomas smiled feeling that giddy feeling he always did when Alex sent him something. It was probably a dumb thing to feel for a man his age, but nobody had to know. He opened the link and immediately started to read. 

He was only on the second paragraph when his door burst open and the author of the piece himself slammed the door shut and plopped himself in the chair across from Thomas' desk. 

"I'm literally only on the second paragraph," Thomas said as dry as he could without lifting his eyes from his screen. 

"Continue. Don’t let me distract you," Alex sat with his eyes staring at the wall bouncing his leg up and down with nervous energy.

Thomas rolled his eyes, "If you're going to be here make yourself useful and look over what Burr's team just gave me," Thomas gave Alex the folder. Alex went and sat across the sofa against the wall laying out and making himself comfortable. Thomas knew getting that sofa for the office was a good idea. If only he could get Alex to lay on it more often. Shaking his head, Thomas began to read again. 

It only took him thirty minutes to read the draft. He didn't edit it nearly as much as he thought he'd have to and it was…different. It was not the same at all to the first draft he'd torn apart the day before. This was…it felt like Alex knew exactly where he was going with the series. Thomas could feel the underlying emotion under the surface of the article. It was definitely Alex, and Thomas couldn't wait to read the rest of the series. 

"You're done," Alex didn't ask. His brows were furrowed and he sat up from the sofa, "That was fast…you cannot tell me that you hate it that-"

"No, I…I didn't hate it," Thomas sat back, "Actually it was almost good," Thomas couldn't help but add. 

"Okay one, you're a dick cause I always write good."

"Well Darling, write well."

"Fuck off. And two, what didn’t you hate about it? What does it need more of in your stupid unwanted opinion?"

Thomas had a hard time keeping the smile from his face but he managed, "Look I don't know where this," Thomas pointed at his screen, "Came from if comparing it to the first draft. This is full of promise. I can really tell you know what you want to accomplish with the series. So…I guess I want to see more of that," Thomas looked to Alex curiously, "Where did this change come from?"

Alex bit his lip thinking if he was really going to tell Thomas the truth. It was so strange that one of the only people Alex felt he could be completely honest with was the same guy who ripped his soul out and left him bleeding by destroying his writing. He may be a little dramatic, but he's a writer so sue him.

"I met this kid at the boarding house John and I went to today. He's a really smart kid. About to be 18 and on his own. He's scared shitless about what's going to happen and then there's this homeless girl at NYU that I want to talk to and," Alex shook his head frustrated, "Anyway, this story is for them. They need to know that they have a shitty hand but it's not over you know?"

Thomas nodded a little surprised by the candidness of Alex's words and how he seemed to have a hard time getting them out. It was unusual to say the least, "Yeah, that's…yeah."

Alex seemed to shake whatever moment he was having off because he got of the sofa quickly dropping the file he'd had on the desk, "This is shit by the way. I wrote notes all over it, and why does anyone care if that Jenner girl got more plastic surgery," Alex went to leave the office stopping before opening the door and turning back to Thomas, "Laf says we're going to The General tonight as usual if you want to come. You can buy me a drink to make up for the fact your floor thinks I have a tiny dick."

Thomas laughed, "How is that my fault? Also, it's not like we have proof it's not true."

"Well there is a way to find out," Alex winked and then left a gaping Thomas alone at his desk. 

\--------------------------

"If you were stuck on a island with two books what would they be," John asked the group surrounding the large table. 

The General had been the hide out for the staff of Liberty for years. It was just on the corner down the street from their building and was never so crowded they couldn't push tables together. The staff were friends and non of the staff of Liberty they hated came in. It was basically a weekly tradition for those who could come. 

"What is this? Summer camp," Angelica rolled her eyes.

"Some of us did not go to summer camp," Laf pouted and then smiled at John, "What books would you choose Mon Chou?"

"White Fang and The Giving Tree," John smiled at Laf earning him a kiss and a cooing sound. He blushed, "Shut up," he grumbled but it was ruined by his smile. 

"You two are so gross," Peggy made a gagging noise. 

John rolled his eyes, "What books would you take Peg?"

"Easy. I'd take Fight Club and Alice in Wonderland."

"Both of you are bringing children's novels as one of your choices," Angelica raised a brow.

"Hey if I'm stuck on an island I'm gonna want something to comfort me, " John defended. 

Angelica snorted her drink but recovered, "I guess I can see your point. I guess I'd bring The Count of Monte Cristo and Great Expectations."

"Good choices," Herc gave a fist out to Angelica and smiled when she returned the gesture, "I'd also go with The Count of Monte Cristo and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy."

Eliza laughed from her spot curled into Hercules' side, "Oh honey."

Hercules smiled at her, "And you sweet Eliza?"

"Hmmm," Eliza scrunched her face up in thought, "Probably Mansfield Park and Gone With the Wind."

"Ohhhhh," Angelica gave Eliza a high five, "Nice choices," she turned to Laf, "What about you?"

"The Hunchback of Notre Dome and The Three Musketeers," Laf nodded and downed the rest of his drink, "I loved them growing up. Where is Alex with-"

"Drinks all around," Alex placed a heavy tray of glasses down, "Our super lazy waitress OUCH," Alex exclaimed holding his head as their waitress (and friend) Mariah walked around the table collecting empty glasses, "I mean our superb goddess waitress that treats us to her glorious presence-"

"Can it Hamilton," Mariah shook her head and went back to the bar to deal with the new customers. 

Alex sat in one of the empty chairs near the end of the table, "What'd I miss?"

"If you were stuck on a island by yourself with only two books what two would you choose," John directed at he friend.

"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows and Animal Farm," Alex said before taking a drink, "Easy," he added after putting his cup down.

"Damn. Harry Potter? I didn't see that coming for some reason," Herc frowned. 

The group chatted and bitched about their week and the rest of the staff for about an hour before Thomas sat down across from Alex.

"Thomas," Laf exclaimed before blowing a kiss to the other man. Thomas and Lafayette actually met outside of Liberty Magazine many years before Thomas was made an editor through Thomas' ex James. They'd hit it off and made a habit of going for coffee occasionally to catch up. Laf was a good listener and good at getting Thomas out of his shell. Thomas had no idea what Lafayette got out of their friendship besides terrible relationship advise. 

"Hey Laf," Thomas retuned the kiss blown to him and watched John snatch it out of the air a metaphorically crush it on the table. Laf smacked his boyfriends arm in a mock pout and Thomas just laughed.

"Jefferson," Alex said from across from him.

"Hamilton," Thomas raised a brow in challenge.

"I'm going to get another drink," The smaller man said suddenly to the table. The rest of the group looked on amused as Alex marched to the bar. Thomas looked up to see Eliza and Laf meeting his eye with small smiles. 

"I guess I need a drink too," Thomas didn't look back at the table as he made his way to where Alex was leaning up against the bar waiting for Mariah to see him. Thomas used his height advantage to get her attention and she made her way over ignoring people that had been there first. 

"What can I get you two? The usual?"

"Yeas please," Thomas smiled and ignored Alex's outraged noise at being talked over, "And his is on me please."

"Uh no his is on himself," Alex looked at Mariah with a challenge in his eye. 

"Honey, if this handsome man wants to buy your drinks let him," she patted Alex cheek and winked at Thomas. Thomas felt his face heat. He was so glad the place wasn't brightly lit. 

"Wha! Hey! Damn it Mariah Reynolds," Alex spun around at Thomas, "What the hell is your game?"

Thomas held up his hands in surrender but didn’t move farther away, "You said I owed you a drink for the floor thinking about the size of your dick. I'm making good on that."

"I didn't think you…I didn't actually mean that. You don't have to buy my drinks. I'm perfectly capable paying for my own," Alex crossed his arms over his chest. 

"I know that idiot. I'm just being nice. You should try it sometimes," Thomas grabbed the beers Mariah had set behind Alex and walked back to the table without looking to see if Alex was following. 

They both sat down and Alex cleared his throat looking up at Thomas, "That was nice. Thank you."

Alex looked so uncomfortable that it made Thomas smile, "You're welcome. I'm sorry that the editors floor thinks you have a tiny penis."

Eliza spit her drink out and everyone lost it much to Thomas' amusement and Alex's embarrassment 

The night went on progressively becoming more alcohol fueled. Alex had actually stopped drinking at feeling tipsy and Thomas tried to as well. 

"John asked…"

Thomas propped his head up on his hand and leaned farther across the table, "John asked what?"

Alex blinked a few times before speaking, "If you were stuck on an island by yourself what two books would you choose to be stranded with?"

"Pride and Prejudice and Harry Potter. The last one. The Deathly Hallows," Thomas licked his lips unconsciously when he noticed Alex do the same thing.

"Pride and Prejudice?"

"What's wrong with it," Thomas challenged.

"Nothing nothing," Alex shook his head, "I Love Jane Austen. All the good characters get happy endings," he stared into Thomas' eyes, "I picked the Deathly Hallows too."

Thomas swallowed, "Why'd you pick it?"

"If I could I'd take all of Harry Potter with me," Alex smiled wistfully, "I just wish someone had given me a letter to go to a wizarding school when I was eleven. I used to think my letter just got lost because I was never In the same place long enough for the school to find me."

Thomas kept his tone quiet knowing he was getting a piece of Alex the other man didn't just let people have, "Yeah? You chose it because you wanted to be a wizard?"

"No, well yes obviously because how fucking cool would that be, but Harry's life was so," Alex seemed to be searching for his point with too much Sam Adams in him, "He had all this terrible shit happen to him, but that didn’t stop him from doing all this cool stuff and being a hero. In fact, all that shit happened to him because he was destined to be something big and…he had these friends and this family of people that would just do anything for him and he'd do anything for…," Alex was quiet again after trailing off.

"It makes me believe that love and the belief in what's right will prevail," Thomas said when he was sure Alex wasn’t going to continue, "I cry like a baby every time I read it, but it's so good and full of hope. Also, I wish I was a wizard too. I just want to see one hippogriff. Just one, is that too much to ask?"

Alex smiled at Thomas and it made Thomas' chest ache with the need to pull Alex to him and never let go.

"You cry like a baby?"

"If you tell anyone I'll deny it," Thomas narrowed his eyes and watched as Alex laughed out loud.

"Come walk me home asshole," Alex said getting up.

Thomas noticed for the first time that they were the last ones there. When the hell did everyone leave? They were there not even fifteen minutes ago. Thomas grabbed his coat and followed Alex out into the brisk night air. 

Alex lived about 6 blocks from Thomas so walking the man home wasn't out of the way. Even if it was he'd probably still do it. He was stupid for the man okay, shut up. Their buildings couldn't be anymore different from each other weirdly enough given how close they were in the neighborhood. Thomas' apartment was way more expensive to live in. There was a door man and elevators that always worked. Alex's building as owned by a family who'd had the building for generations. It was a small community inside the building where everyone knew everyone and at least one person was ease dropping if you were talking in the stairwell. It wasn't as fancy or modern as Thomas' building but it was…nice.

They made small conversation on the walk snarking at each other and laughing. When they made it to the entrance of Alex's building it was going on eleven.

"Well I'd offer you up for a drink, but I'm pretty sure all I have is expired milk," Alex frowned.

Thomas snorted, "You are such a charmer. How do you ever get laid?"

"I ask what books someone would take on a island with them and then charm them on the walk home," Alex opened the front door and turned at cough.

"Are you actually flirting with me Alexander Hamilton? For real," Thomas looked entirely sober in that instant. 

"Have been for like a year thanks for noticing," Alex quickly closed the front entrance to the building and let out a breath into the hall feeling slightly panicked, "Shit. Shit shit shit."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise mid-week update
> 
> Get ready for some John and Alex friendship feels.   
> Thomas will be back more next chapter.

Alex shut his apartment door and threw himself face first on his couch. He had been scolded on his way up the stairs by Ms. Miller in 1B for cussing in the hall so loud where the children could hear him. After that he practically ran upstairs like a damn teenager to curse his own stupidity alone. 

He slid his phone from his jacket pocket and hit John's contact without even moving his face from his current postion. After four rings the call picked up.

"Alexander? Mon Petit why are you calling instead of texting," Laf's voice questioned. 

"Mmmggrrfffffffff," Alex was pretty sure he drooled on the cushion he was groaning into.

There were muffled sounds from the other line before he heard Laf say, "I think he's had a stroke or he's in jail."

There were more muffled noises before John's voice came on the line clearly, "Alex? What happened? Are you okay? Do we gotta bail you out somewhere? Are you hurt? What-"

Alex sat up suddenly aware that John sounded kind of panicked, "No John woah hey I'm fine," Alex cut in, "I just, uh, I was gonna talk to you about something but it's stupid and I'm sorry I called with my face stuffed in a pillow. I'm not having a stroke. Seriously we don’t even have to talk about it cause it was stupid anyway," The more Alex thought about it he was believing it. He could totally go on acting like he hadn't said what he said to Thomas and continue as they usually did. They'd both probably just forget about it anyway, "sorry for worrying you."

"Uh no. No no no we are not just going to forget you called and-," John blew out a big breath over the line, "Tomorrow morning we are going for waffles at Louie's at 10 am. Got that?"

Alex nodded quickly at John's tone but then remembered his friend couldn't see him, "Yeah okay. 10 am…Louie's. I'll be there."

"Okay," John still sounded stern when he said, "I love you. Go to sleep."

Alex couldn't help but smile, "I love you too you complete psychopath," he laughed.

"Yes yes we all love each other now go to sleep Alex, so John and I can get back to our adult activities that you interrupted," Laf said clearly over the line. 

"Oh my God," Alex hung up his phone at that and dropped it on the floor by his feet. 

Alex made his way to bed pulling off his clothes while wondering what John's behavior was all about. Alex didn't mean to freak his best friend out. John was always ready to jump into the fire with him. He didn't know what he did to get a best friend like John Laurens but he sure as hell wasn't going to let it go…even if it meant dreaded mysterious conversations that sounded ominous even with the promise of waffles.

\-----------------------

"That was not proceeding with caution Mon Coeur."

"Shut up and kiss me french fry."

Laf just laughed and pulled his love down on the bed again.

\-----------------------

Thomas walked home slightly in a daze. Alex's parting words kept playing over in his head. Did he mean it? 

Alex was always leaving Thomas' office or the bar with a witty innuendo or come on. Most of them were overly cheesy which was the reason Thomas always wrote them off as jokes. If Alexander Hamilton was really trying to seduce someone with his words he could. Thomas was sure of it, but what if…?

Thomas shook his head in frustration when he was safely in his apartment. He didn’t know why he was getting so bent out of shape about it. This was usual for Alex and he probably was just being a dick. The problem was…the look on Alex's face when he'd said it. The way the man had self-consciously laughed when he'd turn around. Thomas was going to end up replaying it all weekend.

"Fuck."

\----------------------

Louie's diner was pretty busy when John walked in the next morning. John and Alex had found the place the first year of their friendship as they wandered into it one night after staying late at the office. It turned out the diner was almost exactly in middle from their apartments. The breakfast was amazing. It was the only thing either of them ordered no matter what time of day it was. 

"Take the booth in the corner sweetie," Alice said as she dropped food off at a table in near the door. Alice had worked at Louie's for as long as John could recall. She might have been there since the place opened for all he knew. 

"Thanks Alice," John smiled and made his way to the booth. He had about ten minutes to himself if Alex were to show up on time. He wanted to get his thoughts together before then. 

John wasn't sure why he got so spooked the night before with Alex's call. Well that wasn't true, he did know why for the most part. The thing that most people didn't put together was that John and Alex's most common similarity was their inability to just forget something once it gets in their head. Alex got his frustrations out by researching and writing about them sometimes obnoxiously to the point where he could write a book about it. John was more a man of action. He joined protests and sometimes fought with his fists. He was getting better at not doing the latter. He didn't think he could punch his way out of this situation anyway. No, this time John was going to have to be candid and persuasive like Alex usually was. If he wanted Alex to confide in him he'd have to put how he felt all out there in the open. 

Alex slid into he booth opposite John about five after ten, "Never pick up your phone while fucking your boo ever again please," he picked up his menu and looked it over, "Also, don't let your boo do it either." 

"Hey we thought it was an emergency. We were both surprised you knew your phone could make actual calls to be honest, so when you actually used the function we assumed the worst," John flicked Alex's menu, "Why are you even reading that?"

Alex raised a brow, "Isn't that what one does with a menu?"

John rolled his eyes, "Sure, when one doesn't order the waffles literally every single time they come here."

"Meh," Alex dropped his menu with a shrug just as Alice came by to fill up their coffee cups.

"You boys want the usual?"

"Please and thank you," John smiled at her.

"No problem sugar," she winked at John and walked away.

"Why does she only wink at you? You're always being winked at by people. I'm like chopped liver," Alex grumbled, "You and your freckles and your youth."

John laughed, "Alex you're like a year younger than me shut up," he took a sip of his coffee and tried to think of how to start what he wanted to say. He figured the best way to do it might be just ripping the band aid off, "So last night-"

Alex put his hand up with a noise of protest, "Listen, last night I was drunk. I was drunk and speaking into a pillow when I called you about something that drunk me thought was important, but sober me wouldn't even give a footnote. Seriously nothing. I'm sorry I called and scared you," Alex took a big gulp of his coffee and John watched as he tried to swallow the liquid he must have forgot was still very hot.

"Okay, still though-"

Alex coughed a few times and cut in again, "Honestly I don’t know why your guys' first thought was that I was arrested. I have never been arrested, well I was that one time but it was a total misunderstanding as you well know. I don’t know if I'm hurt you thought I was in jail or touched that you were ready to come bail-"

"Alex," John all but snapped. 

Alex seemed to close his mouth on command of his name. It was actually strange because John wasn't sure he'd ever seen that happen before. 

"What," Alex asked.

"Okay just," John let out a breath, "I need to say something and I just…need you to listen and don’t interrupt me okay? When I'm done you can say anything you want. Okay?"

"Uh okay," Alex let out a nervous chuckle.

"I honestly didn't know how to address this because I thought," John shook his head trying to get the words right. Alex was way better with speaking on the spot. 

"Are you okay? Now I'm worried here" Alex looked nervous. 

"Yeah I'm- just let me," John sat up straighter, "Okay, I know that If I ask all the shit I want to ask you you're gonna close up like a steal trap and…I don't want that. I want to know everything about you because…damn it Alex you're my best fucking friend. You're my brother. I also know, or at least I'm figuring out just how private you are about a lot of things. You're like a wizard...coming off as this open book or billboard but you're totally not. I don’t know why and I wish I did, but I can respect that you don’t want people to know," John leaned forward with his hands on the table making sure to look Alex in the eye before continuing, "I need you to know that no matter what though…you are my brother and you always will be. I don’t know what demons you're running from or why. I know that if you want someone to help you fight them I'm always down for a fight if it's for your corner…I don’t know what kind of person you were in the past or what kind of shit happened but I know…I KNOW what kind of person you are now deep in my very being and that person is my brother. Whatever happened in your life made you the person you are now and...I love that person. I love you man."

Alex's face was so blank John was afraid he broke his friend. 

"I," Alex started and then seemed to get his bearings, "I have to be honest John. That came completely out of left field."

John gave a small shrug without looking away from his friend, "To be honest I've been turning it over in my head for days. I'm kinda pissed at myself for realizing that for everything you know about my past I know nothing except you're originally from the Caribbean. It's…I hate that I don’t know how you became…you. Does that make sense or does it make me sound like a fucking shrink?"

Alex sighed and looked tired all of a sudden, "Yeah, yeah that makes sense. I mean my story isn't grand or anything and you're right I don't like to talk about it. It's impossible to ignore sometimes but I really try to ignore a lot of it," Alex licked his lips and furrowed his brow, "Look I can't promise to tell you my life story, but I'll…try to stop deflecting so much. For you," Alex was quick to add, "I'll try to stop it with you. No promises with anyone else."

John let out a small involuntary laugh, "Oaky."

Alex nodded and they both took a drink of their coffee. The silence at their table went on for a few more minute before Alex cleared his throat.

"Yeah," John said in question. 

"I had a brother on Nevis," Alex looked to his coffee as he spoke. 

John sat up straighter, "Yeah? Older or younger?"

"He was six years older. James. He was named after my father."

John was hesitant to ask the next question but knew Alex was probably expecting it, "What happened to him?"

"When he was 18 he split from home. There wasn't a lot of work on the island so he took up with the criminals. They were basically pirates," Alex scoffed, "He got arrested like a month after he left home. He was sentenced to a crazy amount of jail time but skipped his bail and went on the run. He's probably either dead, or in prison in another country."

"Were you two close?"

Alex laughed, "Hell no. I was too young, too mouthy, too bookish to hang out with him. I'm surprised he stayed with us as long as he did. Probably only stayed for mom," Alex fiddled with his silverware before looking up at John's face, "You're my brother too John. You always will be. Not like James, but better I think because…I could never walk away from you and not kill myself trying to find you and get you back."

Alice chose that moment to drop off their food effectively popping the moment at their table, "Here you boys are. Enjoy."

"Oh thank you sweet goddess," Alex immediately smothered his waffles in butter. 

John rolled his eyes and looked to Alice, "Thank you."

They turned their conversation to lighter topics for the rest of breakfast and when they parted ways after eating Alex grabbed John and gave him a tight hug and a punch in the shoulder. 

"I love you too freckles," Alex grumbled when he stepped away.

John laughed and walked home with a smile.


	6. Chapter 6

Thomas awoke on Saturday around noon feeling rested after a long night of forcing himself to think of anything other than Alex. He had finally fallen asleep around 2 AM after texting James that he was considering getting a cat to keep him company. 

After rolling out of bed and shuffling into his kitchen Thomas decided that he would definitely have to go grocery shopping if he planned on eating anything other than microwave dinners for the week. He started some coffee and picked up his phone.

From Jemmy: Dolly wants you to come to dinner tonight. 

From Jemmy: She said she'll make mac n' cheese as a side dish

To Jemmy: Only Dolly wants me to come? You don't love me anymore?

From Jemmy: I'm having mac n' cheese at my dinner table. I think I love you plenty

To Jemmy: Should I bring wine? 

From Jemmy: You will anyways

To Jemmy: You know me too well

From Jemmy: Enough to know that you're not going to get a cat until you and Alex end up living together so you two can adopt one together and then end up with two because you can't come to an agreement

To Jemmy: I'm bringing cheap wine you bitch

There weren't a lot of people that knew that Thomas and James had once dated. Lafayette knew only because he met the two of them while they were actually dating. Thomas and James met in Virginia at a fundraiser both of their parents forced them to go to. The two of them hit it off in a strange way. Thomas was always more charming in circles, used to being around his parents friends. He was good a shmoozing with people when he had to even if it was all appearance. James was way more reserved. He wasn't one to make unnecessary conversation and liked to cut to the point of things without small talk. Thomas liked that about James. They dated for about six months before they both realized what they really needed from each other was just friendship without the extra strain of a romantic entanglement. It was so strange to figure such a thing out. At least, it was weird for Thomas. He was so sure that when he told James how he felt James would never want to speak to him again, and never so relieved to be wrong. He was so grateful to find a best friend in James Madison. 

Thomas dragged himself to the grocery store down the block from his place pleased to see it wasn't as crowded as it usually was. If he was lucky the bakery would have the fresh croissants out. 

He was deciding what kind of bread to get when he heard a familiar voice. 

"Thomas! Hi," Eliza was smiling behind the cart she pushed. 

Thomas smiled, "Hey Eliza, how are you? What are you doing on this side of the block?"

She rolled her eyes but still smiled, "If I didn’t drag Alex here he wouldn't eat during the week."

Thomas felt his smile freeze and he tried not to let Eliza notice his internal panic. Shit. It was like the universe had it out for him, "I suppose someone has to make sure he doesn't get scurvy."

"I resent that," The man himself rounded the corner just then and put a bag of apples in the cart Eliza pushed, "I take vitamins like an actual adult," the man was honest to God pouting. What did Thomas do to deserve this?

"Flintstone vitamins are not adult vitamins."

"Fuck off," Alex said while grabbing a loaf of bread.

Thomas realized then that Eliza had vanished and left the two of them alone. Thomas glared at the cart where she was just standing moments ago, "You know apples and pop tarts aren’t a balanced diet right?

"I'm aware thank you. I eat more than apples and pop tarts, jerk," Alex rolled his eyes, "I may not be a great cook but I can survive on my own."

"You'll have to come over for an actual meal sometime. I actually love to cook," Thomas said casually. Internally of course he was screaming at himself. What the fuck was he doing?

The offer seemed to catch Alex off guard judging by the small pause in movement on his end, but he recovered quickly, "What will you make?"

Thomas shrugged, "I guess I'd have to decide on whatever day you stop by. I don't really plan ahead."

"Hmm," Alex narrowed his eyes at Thomas like he was trying to figure something out. After a minute he said, "Okay I'll have to stop by and surprise you."

Thomas laughed, "Anytime would be a surprise."

A smile spread across Alex's face and for a moment Thomas couldn't breath. He wished Alex smiled more. He wanted to make the man smile all the time. 

"Well they're out of the bagels I wanted, so I got muffins because I'm an adult and I can do what I want," Eliza returned with said muffins. 

"That's right," Alex nodded assuredly and Thomas had a flash to watching Alex assuring his children in the future the same way. 

Christ Thomas really? 

"I uh," Thomas gestured behind him, "I have to go find some wine for dinner tonight with James and Dolly. It was good running into you guys."

"Oh give the Madison's my love," Eliza said while giving Thomas hug. 

"Yeah tell Dolly I miss her and tell James I said he's okay too," Alex smirked.

Thomas scoffed, "I will."

Thomas turned towards the wine silently wondering if he was always going to feel wrong footed in conversation with Alex when they weren't fighting over an article. 

\-----------------------

James opened the door at a quarter to six with a picture of a kitten in his hand.

Thomas looked at him unimpressed, "What is that?"

"I found it on the adoption website. Thought you'd like him," there was a small smirk on his face.

Thomas pushed past him and walked directly into the kitchen with the two bottles of wine he ended up bringing. James' wife was there pulling a pan out of the oven. 

"Dolly," Thomas smiled and kissed her cheek, "You look radiant as ever. I brought us a lovely vintage, and a seven dollar bottle of piss for Jemmy."

Dolly smiled, "Beautiful and dramatic, just how I like you Thomas."

"At least someone appreciates this," Thomas motioned to his full self. He went to the cupboard and pulled some glasses down. 

"Why did you text me at 1:45 in the morning about getting a cat," James raised a brow as he accepted his glass from Thomas. 

Thomas shrugged, "I was up. I wanted a cat at the time. Who else would I tell first other than my best friend."

"Mmmhmm. This wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain person who you refuse to ask out directly-"

"No it has nothing to do with he who shall not be named," Thomas cut in and then took a drink of his wine. 

"Voldemort is definitely his code name now," Dolly added as she plated their food. She was always so good a presentation like she was running a restaurant. 

"Oh god," Thomas groaned letting his shoulders drop dramatically when he remembered the bar, "Did I tell you that when asked what book he would be stranded with if he could only pick two he chose The Deathly Hallows and Animal Farm? He said if he could he'd take all of Harry Potter," Thomas knew his voice was getting a little whiney at the end but he couldn’t help it. The things Alex said about why he chose Harry Potter made Thomas want to wrap him in a blanket and just hold him.

James and Dolly shared a look.

"What," Thomas asked.

"How many times have you written Mr. Thomas Hamilton in your notebook," James asked.

"Like I'd take his name," Thomas scoffed and then added quickly, "Not that I've thought about it."

"Will you ever actually make a move," Dolly asked looking concerned. 

"Well the thing is," Thomas took a drink of his wine, "We always fight but we also joke and we have these flirty moments that are mostly over the top cheesy and…well I always thought that if Alex was serious he would be a hell of a lot smoother. He's a brilliant writer and I've heard him give speeches and argue till he's blue in the face. I've seen him move an entire room to his side of opinion. So, I've always just assumed he was fucking with me."

"I feel like there's a but in there," James had one brow raised. 

"I'm starting to come to the realization that when it comes to people that…matter in his life Alex is a lot less eloquent. Which, is not a bad thing by a long shot because it's more real. It's like you get to see the unpolished parts of him. So, now I'm thinking he might actually be interested, but he's either not very sure how to go about asking or scared to start anything," Thomas downed the rest of his glass and filled another one quickly. 

"Well," Dolly said as her and James just looked at Thomas. 

"Also I may have kind of asked him over for dinner at my house where I could cook for him. I think he accepted."

"You think," James furrowed his brow.

"He said he'd have to surprise me and stop by one day. I don’t know if we're on the same page but…it's something right?"

"Definitely something," Dolly squeezed his shoulder, "Now let's eat before all this wine hits our system."

\------------------

James walked Thomas to the door when it started to get late. Thomas was looking forward to falling asleep with a book in his hands wrapped in a big blanket. 

"Thomas I think you're right about Hamilton," James said. 

"What do you mean?"

"The man holds himself back quite a bit with people. More than most really see, but with you it seems he lets his guard down a bit. I think he feels more for you than you think. You should...keep nudging."

Thomas balked, "Like I'm one to talk him out of being scared."

"Thomas you're braver than you give yourself credit for. Or at least you’ve always been good at faking it until you make it."

Thomas bit his lip, "Keep nudging huh?"

"Let him in. He might do the same."

Thomas sighed and then hugged his friend, "Right...Okay," he steeled himself and then said, "For love."

James snorted but then nodded as seriously as he could, "For love."


	7. Chapter 7

Sunday was quiet on the NYU campus. Students were either sleeping off their Saturday night hangovers or trying to catch up on the work they neglected over the last two days. Alex smiled fondly at one student he passed on his walk who was groaning over a notebook probably trying to decipher notes they had taken days earlier. 

Alex liked school. No, he had loved school. When everything else in his life seemed to be shit he was always able to throw himself into his school work and excel. When he was failing with a foster family or group home he was always able to at least wow his teachers. It didn't make him any friends, but he knew he had to make concessions. If it was between fitting in with people he had almost nothing in common with or making something of his life he knew what he was going to choose. 

College was different from high school. It still had some cliques and various clubs of people, but the atmosphere was different. He was finally surrounded by people actively trying in classes. He was still a total outcast among his peers with his age and general chaos, but in college he was able to fly under some radars. Although, by his second semester he was known by most students for his tendency to argue in class. 

Columbia was the first place that he felt something close to being home. Mind you, he was living out of a van for most of it or the library…and for one semester the backroom of a coffee shop. It didn't matter where he slept though because when he was in school he was looking to the future. 

That Sunday Alex was in search of a particular student. When he'd first seen Elena Jones at the job fair his first instinct was to continue what he was doing paying her no mind. He had always wanted people to do just that when seeing him on campus when he was younger. He didn’t need or want anybody's pity or questions. Alex had spent the rest of his time Saturday, when he wasn’t thinking about his Thomas predicament, thinking about Elena and whether she felt the same way he had in college. It ate away at him as he did his laundry in his basement and when he had dinner with Ms. Suarez next door the previous night. 

Alex found the person he was looking for under a tree by a parking lot where the familiar car was stationed. He walked to the tree and cleared his throat to get the girl's attention. 

She looked slightly confused and a little nervous, "Uh hi?"

"Hi," Alex tried not to sound awkward but probably failed, "I know this is weird and you don’t know who I am and I'm not actually a student. Do you mind if I sit," he gestured to the grass, "It's a little weird talking towards you while I'm standing."

"It's a little weird that you're talking to me in general," The girl narrowed her eyes, "Who are you and why are you talking to me?"

"That's fair," Alex tried not to smirk at her tone remembering how suspicious he was of literally everyone when he was younger. Actually, he still was, "My name is Alexander Hamilton. I work for Liberty Magazine."

Realization dawned on her face, "Your muscle already tried to get me to talk. I'm still gonna pass," she went back to highlighting her notes. 

Alex nodded to himself and took a seat on the other side of the tree facing the quad. There was sigh from behind him. 

"What are you doing?"

"Just hangin out. Enjoying the quiet campus on a beautiful Sunday," Alex shrugged and leaned back against the tree more.

"Whatever," The Elena mumbled.

"I went to Columbia."

"Congrats," her tone was bored. Alex heard her writing.

"At first I wanted to be a lawyer."

"Some people can't cut it. Don’t beat yourself up about it," she was still writing.

Alex smiled. He like her. 

"What are you studying," he asked.

"Law which I'm assuming you already knew unless you're a shit researcher."

Alex snorted, "My muscle and spy got your schedule."

"Stalkers," she grumbled.

"I didn't figure out I really wanted to be a writer until my third semester. I was sitting in my corner in the library trying to look like I was actually studying and not just trying to crash there cause it was snowing and my van was not great at retaining heat. I was reading The Diary of Anne Frank…I hadn't read it before then. I don't know how I had gotten that far in life without having it as assigned reading, but anyway...when I finished it I realized I was crying," Alex paused and then, "I wanted so much to turn all of the things I thought and read about into discussion topics. All the things that constantly ran through my mind. I wrote A LOT. I wanted people to have to take notice of things that were important. I thought…if I can take my words and tell someone's story maybe I can make a difference for at least one person."

"You came to that conclusion after reading The Diary of Anne Frank at like twenty years old," Elena had turned around and was looking at Alex with a raised brow.

Alex scoffed, "Okay, I was actually 18 and super delirious from spotty and terrible sleeping mixed with a double major course load, and the fact that ninety percent of my diet at the time was coffee. I know you at least know what the sleeping thing is like," Alex gestured towards the parking lot.

Elena shrugged and looked away, "Yeah. You get used to it."

"Yeah you do," Alex added quietly. He wasn't sure where to go from here. Thankfully Elena beat him to it.

"Ho do I know I can believe you? That you aren't just making this shit up? For all I know you're playing me to get me to talk," she looked ready for a fight. 

"Well I guess you don't know for sure," Alex shrugged, "But it's true. I got emancipated at sixteen after I graduated high school. I was smart and they didn’t really want to keep placing me in homes anyway," he smirked, "I was too much trouble for them. They turned me loose with my scholarship to Columbia. Unfortunately the scholarship didn’t come with a big enough stipend for housing…"

Elena scoffed, "Yeah well if the textbooks weren't a fortune."

"Right?! That was one thing I never missed about my law courses. The books were so damn expensive. At least I didn’t want to do medicine," Alex chuckled. 

That sat silently for a few minutes.

"Does it get any easier," she looked uncomfortable and smaller than she did a few minutes ago.

"Not for a while," Alex let out an unsteady laugh, "It…it gets harder in different ways. It gets more confusing and the leaps of faith seem to get bigger but…"

"But?"

"But it does get better. If you really want it. And I think you really want it."

Elena let out an unsteady breath, "I want it."

Elena spoke again, "What do you do now? What's Liberty Magazine like?"

Alex smiled, "Well…"

Alex told her about Liberty, but not just about the magazine. He talked about his friends and the people in his building and all the things he finally let himself experience even when all of his instincts told him to keep his head down and not get comfortable. Alex and Elena parted ways two hours later after Alex bought them sandwiches from the shop on the corner by campus. 

Alex handed her his card, "Call me or email me anytime for anything."

She raised a brow but took his card.

Alex shrugged, "Us street rats gotta stick together," he smiled when he saw her roll her eyes.

"Were you always dork too?"

Alex sighed, "Yeah. That was always there."

They both parted and began walking in opposite directions. Before Alex turned the corner he heard Elena call his name.

"Yeah," Alex questioned. 

Elena was biting her lip, "If you make one of the articles your story…I'll give you mine," and then she turned and rounded the other corner.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuff starts to pile up on Alex in this chapter.
> 
> Comments are always welcome and appreciated!

Alex sat at his desk on Monday morning staring at his screen while he bounced a ball off the wall to his right. It made him feel like Toby from the West Wing. Peggy said he wasn't cool enough to be Toby.

He had spent his Sunday after getting home pouring over all of the research the team gathered the last week while he did laundry. He listened to all of the recorded interviews at least twice knowing he would listen to them again anyway when he listened to the rest of the interviews they would do. He wrote every avenue he wanted to explore down knowing that again he would have to revisit it after the rest of the interviews were done. He tried to think of everything he could to get out of his end of what Elena wanted in return for her story. He definitely tried not to think about Thomas and running into the man on Saturday. He was not very successful on either of those fronts.

Alex was so set on just going back to the way things were with Thomas. He wanted to scale back a bit so that their flirtation…his flirtation was seen as friendly joking and professional animosity. Alex was sure there was such thing as professional animosity even if Eliza and Herc disagreed. It was so much better to keep Thomas out of arms reach. He couldn't completely screw everything up that way. Before, he was so used to people coming in and out of his life to the point it was pointless to really connect with them. Now though…Alex was in a place where he had these people that he didn't know how to lose. The thought of Thomas growing tired of Alex like people had before made his chest hurt and his breathing quicken and become shallow like he was in a pool of water that came right up to his chin. He felt the same way when John was talking to him on Saturday morning. Alex was sure that John was going to tell Alex that he was done with him. It was irrational he knew…John and he worked together, they were best friends, they were brothers. It still didn’t help the feeling in his chest at the time though. Now Alex went and decided to invite himself to Thomas' house for dinner. Good going Alex. 

Alex shook his head when he started to feel the panic. He tried to think of something else, but the only thing else his mind would supply was Elena. 

He and Elena talked for two hours on Sunday. Alex saw so much of himself in her, but she had her own story. She had a loving home until her mother remarried. Her step father was a very conservative man, and when Elena came home with her girlfriend things didn't go well. She was removed from her home at sixteen and put in foster care after she was admitted to the hospital with a broken arm and cracked rib. She hasn't spoken to her mother or siblings ever since. When she got a scholarship to NYU she jumped at the chance. She didn’t care that she had to sleep in her car because at least she was free to do what she wanted and free to be what she wanted. The two of them discussed her studies and various topics on campus. Alex was happy to discover Elena was a fan of debate and they spent time talking about a few issues. Alex knew her story needed to be told. 

The problem was…could Alex tell his?

"Earth the Hamilton. Houston are you reading," Peggy waved her hand in front of Alex's face causing the man to miss the ball still in motion. It smacked him in the side of his head. Peggy snorted, "That was hardcore zoning out there Hammy," she set a coffee down on his desk. 

Alex rubbed the side of his head and picked up the cup, "I was thinking," he grumbled.

"Something you apparently can't multitask while doing. You're welcome for the coffee by the way."

"Thank you," Alex said then glanced at the clock, "Why are you here so early?"

She shrugged, "Had to escape the clutches of a lovely one night stand before they woke up and the office is closer than home so," she drank her coffee and booted up her computer. 

Alex sighed longingly, "Sex…I remember that. Those were the days."

"You could literally walk into Thomas' office and strip and he'd be DTF immediately."

"DTF," Alex scrunched his face up.

"Wow old man Hamilton…DTF down to fu-"

"Christ," Alex got up from his chair with his coffee and notebook, "I have senior staff. Hopefully there's a fight so I don't fall asleep."

"If you do try not to have a sex dream with Thomas in it. It might be awkward if you moan his name with Washingdad in the room," Peggy laughed when Alex made an indignant noise in the hall.

\-----------------------------

"Okay who's up first," Washington asked from the head of the conference table.

Alex didn't exactly hate senior staff meetings, but he didn’t look forward to them. Because of the way investigations wrote their series he only really needed to report on his team every three months, but he still had to be there and endure listening to all the other happenings. 

"The Post will run it anyway so we really don’t need-"

Alex tuned most of what was going on out while he worked on the crossword from the paper. He was stuck on seventeen down when he felt someone tap his ankle. He turned his head to see Thomas sitting in the chair next to him gesturing to his paper. Alex slid it between them and Thomas wrote the answer Alex had been searching for.

"The fuck," Alex grumbled.

"It's a southern thing," Thomas smirked back and went to looking over the rest of the puzzle. Alex and he both worked together on it for a while. It was strange to Alex because he couldn't remember ever sitting with someone and just silently working together without having to utter a word. It was so…domestic.

"Alexander, Thomas," Washington called from his position.

"Sir," Alex asked trying to hide the fact that he and Thomas were essentially not paying attention in the slightest. 

"I hear that you've got the direction of your next series and you're running with it?"

"Yes sir. The team is gathering interviews and the first article is almost ready."

"It needs to be rewritten of course," Thomas said, just then looking up from the puzzle.

Alex furrowed his brow and turned to him, "Uh…no it doesn't."

Thomas scoffed, "Yeah it does. It looks like a teenager's attempt at slam poetry."

"What the fuck does that even mean you giant-"

"It means that you need to throw away your black nail polish and-"

"Gentlemen," Washington raised his hand, "Enough. Figure it out please."

"Yes sir," both Alex and Thomas said together. 

Washington excused the room shortly after and Alex grabbed his puzzle back with more force than necessary.

"I corrected ten down. You spelt Pennsylvania wrong," Thomas smirked as he turned towards the elevator.

"You're coat looks like you skinned Barney," Alex tossed out before going into the stairwell back down to the basement. 

\---------------------------

"Where are we at people," Alex called to the team as he walked back to his desk, "Also does anyone have any black nail polish?"

Laf opened their desk drawer and pulled out a container, "It has sparkles in it," they put it on Alex's desk.

"Even better. Can you paint my nails?"

John raised a brow at his best friend, "Why do you want black sparkly nails?"

"Because Thomas is a dick," Alex let Laf take his left hand and begin to paint.

"Of course," John nodded, "That makes total sense."

"Hamilton logic," Peggy shrugged

"Where's Herc," Alex asked. 

"He went to NYU to track some of them people he spoke to about more of an interview. He also wanted to try to find Elena Jones and try to convince her-"

"Yeah I already tried that," Alex grumbled.

Laf paused in his painting while the other two team members looked Alex's way.

"You talked to her? When," John asked.

"Yesterday."

John raised a brow, "And? What did she say?"

"She told me she would consider it," Alex shrugged making Laf pause his painting again, "Sorry, I'll be still."

"What is it she's considering? What's holding her back," John pressed.

"Well it's a lot to…tell someone your story knowing they're going to publish it. Especially if it's, it's parts of your life you wish weren't apart of it. You know that. It's how every story goes really but it's just…she said she might," Alex sounded flighty to John. 

"Okay," John said dropping it. He'd have to wait until the two of them were alone to get the whole story. 

"Okay," Laf put the cap back on the bottle of polish, "Let those dry before you do anything with your hands or you're going to look like a train wreck."

"You mean more of a train wreck," Peggy murmured from her seat.

"Well I have an appointment with someone to get to," Laf grabbed their bag and scarf. They leaned down and gave John a deep kiss, "I'll be back in time for lunch. Don't get in too much trouble," they directed towards Alex.

"Hey," Alex said, "I'm technically you're boss. I'm responsible."

Laf gave a flat look to Alex before turning back to John, "Make sure he drinks at least two bottles of water to counteract the coffee oui? Love you," Laf gave Peggy a fist bump on their way out.

"The complete lack of respect in this place," Alex shook his head, "is beautiful."

John snorted and went back to his computer pulling up his messenger before Alex could ignore him.

JLaruens: So

John saw Alex side eye him before typing.

AHam: So what?

JLaurens: What didn’t you mention about Elena?

AHam: We talked for a while. She's a good kid.

JLaurens: Alex I could tell there was something you weren't saying

Alex didn’t reply for a few minutes so John read his email. After a little longer he saw his messenger notification.

AHam: She said she'd give me her story to write

John smiled and sat up straighter.

JLaurens: That's great! You said she was considering it

AHam: She'd give her story if I wrote mine

John blinked at the screen before turning to look at Alex. His friend was frowning at his screen typing what he was sure were edits to Thomas. John thought about what he was going to reply. He knew Alex had barely promised to be more open with just him so the fact that Elena wanted Alex to write his history out for everyone to see was…well John figured they were probably not going to get Elena in the series. 

JLaurens: How are you feeling about that?

AHam: I don’t think I should be in the series. 

John frowned.

JLaurens: Why? 

AHam: It's not impartial. It's not my autobiography. It should be for telling important stories not writing my diary

"Hey losers I'm going to talk Eliza into coming with me to charm the city records clerk," Peggy grabbed her coat.

"Tell Eliza she's the best of work wives and the best of women," Alex said.

"Tell her she's awesome got it," Peggy nodded.

"I said it way more eloquently."

"You sounded like a dweeb," and with that she was gone.

"I know you don't think," John began as soon as they were alone.

"I don’t want to," Alex cut in. It was such an un-Alex thing to say in regards to an argument. He always had a reason when not doing something. Either it was stupid and he was going to tell you why or he was going to do something else and again he was going to tell you why. There was no "I don’t want to" seriously said by the man. 

"Okay," John said softly, "Mind telling me why?"

Alex sighed and put his head on his desk. He let out a shaky breath.

"Alex. Are you okay," John turned fully towards his friend.

"I feel like lately everything that could possibly give me anxiety is happening all at once. Like at this rate there's definitely gonna be a hurricane hitting the city," he let out a slightly hysterical laugh.

"Alex-"

"Alex for the love of God would you," Thomas walked into the room and paused, "Am I Interrupting," he frowned and looked between John and Alex's bowed head, "Is everything ok-"

Alex's head shot up, "I just emailed you! What now?!"

"You emailed me twelve different memes and a cat video," Thomas scowled.

"Yeah and the video had the article in the second attachment," Alex said in a tone that seemed to convey how thick Thomas was being. 

"What video was it," John asked.

Alex turned to John an grinned though he still seemed on edge, "The one where he keeps knocking things over and looking at the camera."

"Alex," Thomas frowned, "you look manic. How much coffee have you had-"

"I don’t need a babysitter," Alex snapped.

Thomas raised his hands in surrender, "Okay," he sighed, "I'll go," he turned around and left the room. 

"That might have been a little harsh," John commented trying to keep his tone light, "I know that was bad timing but still."

Alex groaned, "I either sound like an angry child around him or a fumbling teenager with a crush when I try to flirt with him."

"Tell me five things you can see," John asked.

"What," Alex asked. His voice was thready. 

"Tell me five things you an see."

"Uh you, the beanbag chairs, our West Wing poster, the mini fridge, the hole in the wall where Peggy punched it, and I guess my desk."

"What are four things you can hear?"

"The hum from my computer, my pulse, the vacuum being used in the hall, and the cars on the street."

"Three things you can feel?"

"My sweater, the air vent blowing the heat…how dry my lips are."

"Two things you can smell?"

"My fabric softener…your cologne."

"Something you can taste?"

"The taste left from my coffee."

"You good," John asked softly.

"Yeah," Alex started to take visibly bigger breathes again, "Thanks."

"No need to thank me," John smiled a little. Alex had helped John through more than one anxiety attack in their time. John didn't get them all that often anymore, but they weren't something you just got rid of. John grabbed a water from the fridge and handed it to Alex, "Wanna talk about all the shit that’s going on?"

"Not really," Alex drank half the bottle before he spoke again, "I don't know if I'd ever want everyone reading about my past. I've always wanted to just forget it. It's not important. What's important is the future," he took another drink, "And I forgot to tell you that I think that Thomas is catching on that I actually mean the flirty shit I say to him and I managed to get invited to his house whenever I wanted to surprise him so he could cook for me and that's freaking me out to be honest…," he rubbed his temples.

"Okay…," John nodded, "We'll worry about the story later. We have a bunch of leads, so why is Thomas freaking you out? You know he's like fucking nuts about you right? We aren't kidding when we say that to you."

"Gah," Alex tossed his water bottle across to the trash and missed…again.

"You've got to work on your game," John smiled, "Alex why are you freaked about Thomas? You've been wanting to climb him like a tree since he started. Now's your chance."

"I don't want to just sleep with him though," Alex stood up and began pacing. 

"You want to date him," John smiled, "I'm sure he'd more than agree to that."

"That's the problem," Alex waived his hands in the air as he continued to pace.

"Why is that a problem?"

"Because we'll still have to work together when it's over and that will be…I don’t want to even think about it," Alex sat back down and moved to his computer.

"No," John unplugged his mouse and Alex squawked, "Why do you assume it's going to be over? Herc and Eliza are still together. Laf and I are still going strong."

"Give me my mouse back John," Alex scowled.

"Alex you promised," John pulled out the puppy eyes.

"Don't," Alex pointed his finger at John, "That's not fair."

"All's fair in love and war."

Alex drummed his fingers across the desk before sighing. He still looked irritated but he answered, "Look I'm good at one night stands. I like sex. I'm good at it, but relationships? You're my longest relationship that wasn't my mother and she's dead…He's gonna have enough of my mess and it will end like everything does and I just," he sounded tired again, "I don’t know if I could handle that from him. I don’t think I'm ready."

"Alex," John frowned.

Alex quickly grabbed his mouse cord back and plugged it back in, "Let's just focus on the series right now. It will all blow over when Thomas and I are fighting to the death over comma use anyway," Alex started pointedly looking towards his screen typing. 

John went back to his desk and pulled up his email.

To: TJEFFS@Libertymagazine.com  
From: JLAURENS@Libertymagazine.com

SUBJECT: Friendly Reminder

You are going to have to really convince Alex you're in this for real. I shouldn't say anything but I believe that you really care about him. He has doubts about everything but mostly the doubt is in himself. 

If you hurt Alex.  
They will never find your body.

-John


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> Comments are lovely!

Thomas walked back to his office confused and more than a little concerned. The only reason he left the basement when Alex snapped was because John was there and seemed to know what he was doing judging by the signals the man was shooting Thomas' way. He didn’t like it though. Alex had looked so…anxious. On any given day Alex looked like a ball of energy wrapped up in a little angry talkative package, but every so often Thomas could tell there was more to it. 

Thomas wasn't completely new to anxiety himself. He was one of eight children to a couple of wealth and political power. He was paraded around and had many things expected of him from a young age. He used to shy away from large gatherings as much as possible, and could only stand to be around large groups for so long before he had to retreat. He was thankful most times that he wasn't the oldest child and was easily forgotten out of all his siblings. This was one reason he and James got along so well. Thomas would charm all the people he was supposed to and then when it became too much he and James would sneak away to play chess, read, or make out when they were younger. So Thomas wasn't new to anxiety, but he was new to seeing it so present in Alex. 

Alex had always seemed to thrive in the spotlight or under pressure. He was always so vibrant when met with an unexpected challenge or problem. Once, an entire article had to be rewritten in two hours because a vote in the senate went the opposite way that everyone at the magazine predicted. Alex had written it with time to spare for Thomas to edit and for a second rewrite. It wasn't even an investigations piece, but Alex was the one to rise to the occasion. Thomas has seen Alex go on stake outs and come into work the next day and do it all over again until an article is done. Thomas has seen Alex with so much on his plate it gave Thomas himself anxiety, but not once has Thomas seen Alex look that manic. 

Thomas hated it. He hated that he didn't know what was getting to the man or how to help. He also irrationally hated John Laurens for being the one that Alex confides in. Which, it's stupid to feel that way because John is Alex's best friend and Thomas can't even man up and tell Alex how he feels. Thomas didn't even know if Alex felt anything other than irritation toward him. 

Thomas dropped into his office chair and went to open up the last email Alex sent him containing the cat video and apparently the article. He paused when he saw an email from John. When he opened it up and read it he froze. 

Thomas felt his heart start to pound. His hand typed slow on the reply.

_TO: JLAURENS@Libertymagazine.com  
FROM: TJEFFS@Libertymagazine.com_

__

_RE: Friendly Reminder_

__

_I'm going to take this email as a sign that I might have a chance with him. Yes? No?_

__

_More importantly though  
Is he okay? I'd ask him but I'm afraid he might actually throw something at me._

__

_-Thomas_

__

 

Thomas hit send and leaned back in his chair. His thoughts were everywhere at that moment. Did Alex actually return his feelings? Were they more than a wish for a quick fuck? Was that what had Alex anxious? What was making Alex anxious? How could Thomas fix it? What-

His email pinged. 

_TO: TJEFFS@Libertymagazine.com  
FROM: JLAURENS@Libertymagazine.com_

__

_RE:RE: Friendly Reminder_

__

_The question is:_

__

_What do you want out of it?_  
_Is this just some itch you want to scratch or are you looking for something else?  
_If it is something more it better be serious. If it's not, don't even start anything.__

____

__

__

_I'm being dead serious Thomas. He doesn't need that shit. You're an asshole but I like you so, I'd hate to have to dump your body in the Hudson. I will do it though._

__

__

_If you are serious than yes. You have more than a chance._

__

__

_-John_

__

__

 

Thomas was basically eating his bottom lip trying to figure out how to reply. What did he want? He felt like all he ever did was think about what he wanted with Alex. 

_TO: JLAURENS@Libertymagazine.com  
FROM: TJEFFS@Libertymagazine.com_

__

__

_RE:RE:RE: Friendly Reminder_

__

__

_I'd never be able to condense everything I want with Alex into one email.  
I'll be lucky to get it all into one lifetime, but I'm going to try._

__

__

_-Thomas_

__

__

He could not believe he just sent that to John. It sounded so fucking cheesy, but he meant it. John replied quickly.

_TO: TJEFFS@Libertymagazine.com  
FROM: JLAURENS@Libertymagazine.com_

__

__

_SUBJECT: Okay, Nicholas Sparks_

__

__

_I almost puked because that was so sappy. That best part is though,  
I know you meant that. _

__

__

_P.S. This is some insider information that might make editing this series better or worse for you (hard to tell). One of the articles might be Alex's story about before he graduated college. I might need your help getting him on board._

__

__

_-John_

__

__

 

Thomas blinked at the screen for several minutes before replying

_TO: JLAURENS@Libertymagazine.com  
FROM: TJEFFS@Libertymagazine.com_

__

__

_Subject: what_

__

__

_Christ_

__

__

_Mission impossible much?_

__

__

_-Thomas_

__

__

 

Thomas opened up his messenger and the article side by side determined to start working. He tried to push all the emails out of his head. Why was one of the articles going to be Alex's story? What did Thomas know about Alex's life before meeting the man? Thomas had deduced that Alex didn’t come from wealth like himself. Alex loved to make comments about the silver spoon Thomas had been born with. It never bothered Thomas because frankly it was true. Thomas was born into a wealthy family with old money and a trust fund he hasn’t touched yet. He was his own man who made his own money and Alex knew that. Alex never said anything about Thomas' families money in a malicious tone, although he did scoff whenever Thomas mentioned a gala or some opulent thing his family had. Alex has spoken about the gap in wealth though. He speaks passionately about how the top 2% in the country are ruining the entire nation. He speaks about conditions in neighborhoods and public schools. He speaks about shelters not being big enough and about how the country shouldn't need so many. Thomas has listened to the things Alex is passionate about and now he's starting to realize maybe he wasn't listening close enough. 

Thomas let out a loud sigh and made a decision. 

First and foremost he was going to get Alex to have dinner with him. They didn't have to talk about Alex's past or anything that stressed them out. He just wanted to get Alex to be more relaxed and less doubtful. He didn't know what kind of doubt Alex had about himself, but Thomas needed him to know that there was nothing they couldn't deal with. 

TJefferson: I like this intro way better. 

AHam: I figured you would. You comma Nazi

TJefferson: Shut up

AHam: Make me

Thomas smirked. 

TJefferson: I'm making baked chicken tonight

AHam: Okay…

TJefferson: Be over at 7

Thomas went back to editing with vigor trying to ignore the jittery feeling in his stomach. He saw his messenger ping but forced himself to read the rest of the article before replying. It was…passionate. It was different from what Thomas expected. It seemed that the focused audience was more than just the general public. It felt like Alex was reaching out to people through it about more than just an issue. It gave Thomas pause about what kind of experience Alex had with the subject matter. He finally went back to messenger. 

AHam: Is that a question? Are you asking me to come over tonight for dinner?

AHam: Hello?

AHam: You better be editing if you're going to ignore me asshole

AHam: What else are you making?

TJefferson: Asparagus and something with red potatoes because I'm in the mood for them. Yes I was editing. 

TJefferson: Are you coming tonight or not?

Thomas drummed his fingers on his desk waiting for a reply. 

AHam: I'll be there

If Thomas did a small victory jig no one was there to prove it. 

\------------------------

"Okay. Okay this is fine," Alex nodded at his computer trying to reassure himself. 

"What's fine," John was looking at Alex with a confused tilt to his head.

"Uh," Alex leaned back in his chair and looked at the ceiling, "I'm having dinner with Thomas tonight…at his house…tonight. He's making baked chicken…tonight…at his house."

John chuckled, "And?"

Alex shot John a look, "And? Well I'm doing what you said!"

John raised his eyebrows, "So you don’t want to have dinner with him?"

"Well of course I do, but-"

"Then stop freaking out," John said, "Seriously Alex. Don't go into this thinking it's gonna blow up."

"It might."

John sighed, "Listen I know you go into everything with an exit strategy," John gave Alex a look when it seemed like he was going to argue, "Don't even try to deny it. You do. I don't know why you do it, but you must have some reason. The thing about a relationship…the thing about love is…you have to risk being completely cut open to achieve happiness sometimes."

Alex frowned, "Did you just…was that Fight Club you just quoted?"

"Shut up. It's true," John threw a pen at Alex.

Alex easily blocked the pen, "Okay okay," he sighed and went back to his computer, "Just know that if this ends in tears I'm going to be eating ice cream in between you and Laf in bed for how ever long it takes for my heart to turn back to stone."

John snorted, "Deal."


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I'm really sorry this chapter took so long to get posted!  
> This last weekend I got to actually go see the touring company in San Francisco perform Hamilton and it was life changing. I couldn't focus on anything up until the day I saw it. They are so talented! 
> 
> Comments are always appreciated! I love you guys!

Alex spent his whole day switching between freaking out about dinner and emailing Elena. The first email came from her with just the question of "What are your thoughts on the second amendment and gun control?" and needless to say they'd been writing back and forth on a email thread so long it might rival War and Peace. He really liked Elena. She was passionate about law and what she wanted to see. She could stand her ground on things she believed and even played devil's advocate when necessary. Alex smiled when she wrote about wanting to be a supreme court justice. He could picture it in his mind already.

 

_TO: EJJustice@Gmail.com_

_FROM: Aham@Libertymagazine.com_

_Subject: Schedule_

_I noticed in your class schedule that you have early classes on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Do you have plans tomorrow afterwards?_

_-Alex_

Alex drummed his fingers on his desk waiting for a reply listening to the low music Peggy had playing from her computer.  

 

"Man I do not miss college," Hercules walked into the office.

 

"Whaaaat? You don’t miss all that stress and student debt," John smiled.

 

"Hell no," Herc shrugged his jacket off before dropping a memory stick on Alex's desk, "Spoke with some students that all basically formed a gypsy camp on campus. They go from couch to couch or dorm to dorm. They're actually about to get an apartment to share," Herc sighed, "There are eight of them and they're going to be sharing a two bedroom place," he flipped open his notes, "Three of them are from the foster system, two ran away from home, one got kicked out at eighteen, and the other two just have broke ass parents that think their kids are doing just fine while away a school."

 

Alex nodded, "Yeah its easier to lie to parents from farther away."

 

"Tell me about it," John snorted, "I was only able to stay in the closet with my family because I went out of state for school."

 

"Still don’t know how they didn't know before you left mister stares at Laf's ass whenever they're turned around," Peggy remarked.

 

"Okay, but have you seen Laf's ass," John scoffed, "It's not just something I can ignore."

 

"Does the university know about the group? I assume that their using campus facilities," Alex asked Hercules.

 

"Yeah actually some of the staff at the campus gym keep extra shampoo and toiletries for students," Herc frowned, "They also have spare blankets and cots that they bought to set up in some of the unused rooms without the board knowing. The staff was pretty nice about it but…it still sucks."

 

"Life tends to," Alex added. He noticed out of the corner of his eye that Elena replied.

 

_TO: Ahamilton@Libertymagazine.com_

_FROM: EJJustice@gmail.com_

_Subject: Stalker much?_

_I guess technically I'm free. I was planning to study for my Econ test I have Thursday._

_-E_

_TO: EJJustice@Gmail.com_

_FROM: Ahmailton@Libertymagazine.com_

_Subject: Lies_

_The neighbor I was telling you about, Ms. Suarez, cooks enough food for an army most nights and always makes me come eat with her on nights I'm not staying at work late. I mentioned you and she wanted me to bring you with me. I was hoping you'd come tomorrow if you're free. I'm an excellent economist and can totally help you with whatever your test is covering._

_-Alex_

_TO: Ahamilton@Libertymagazine.com_

_FROM: EJJustice@Gmail.com_

_Subject: Dude_

_Did you tell her about why you met me in the first place? Is this because she feels bad for me? If it is I'm definitely going to pass. I don't want handouts._

_P.S. Are you a writer or an economist?_

_-E_

_Alex hit reply quickly._

_TO: EJJustice@Gmail.com_

_FROM: Ahamilton@Libertymagazine.com_

_RE: Dude_

_You are NOT a charity case and I'm going to try not to be offended that you think I would just tell someone your tragic backstory without them reaching your level seven friend status. I told her about all of the shit we talked and argued about and she was intrigued. If you don't come she'll stuff me with your portion and I'm trying to keep my nice figure here!_

_P.S My second degree is in Economics so I'm both you jerk_

_-A (look I can be cool and sign off with just a letter like I'm some hip fictional character)_

_FROM: EJJustice@Gmail.com_

_TO: Ahamilton@Libertymagazine.com_

_Subject: If I'm a jerk you're a bitch_

_What time should I be there and what's your address?_

_P.S I kind of hate Econ but it might be that I just don’t like my teacher so good luck with me as your student._

_-E (How are you considered an adult)_

 

Alex chuckled and replied with a time and his buildings address.

 

"Anybody wanna grab drinks," Hercules asked while he bundled himself in his coat.

 

Alex noticed everyone starting to gather their things and then saw that his computer said it was 5:15. Where the hell did the time go? In between panicking and emailing Elena it seemed time slipped right through Alex's fingers. Shit. He had to go home a change and grab wine and…shit.

 

"We have plans," Laf announced before wrapping a scarf around John's neck.

 

"We do," John raised a brow in question.

 

"Oui," Laf winked and then kissed John on the nose.

 

John's smile could light up the damn city with way he was looking at Laf, "I guess that's a rain check Herc," He kissed Lafayette. His friends were disgustingly cute.

 

Herc rolled his eyes, "I do not want details."

 

"Shut it Muligan. I know you're waiting for our sex tape," John winked.

 

"What about you Alex? You coming?"

 

"Uh I have," Alex tried to think of an excuse but thankfully John cut it.

 

"Aren't you helping Ms. Suarez with something?"

 

"Yeah! Yes," Alex nodded, "I have a thing tonight and then dinner with her tomorrow with," he stopped and then, "Uh I can't sorry," Alex started gathering his things to avoid having to word vomit again.

 

"O…kay," Herc furrowed his brow but then shrugged, "Guess it's just us and the other two sisters, Pegs."

 

"Cool, let's go talk shit about everyone," Peggy pulled Herc through the door no doubt going to find Angelica and Eliza, "See you tomorrow losers," she called over her shoulder.

 

Alex was looking down into his bag and didn’t notice John approach him until his friend pulled him into a hug. It startled Alex but he slowly brought his arms up to hug back. He heard John speak lowly into his ear, "Don't think to much tonight yeah? You've known Thomas for long enough to know he won't try to hurt you. Try not to put yourself on the defense. He's not the enemy. There is no enemy. You'll be fine," Alex nodded and then John added, "And make him work for that fine ass of yours so don’t put out of the first date," He slapped Alex's ass hard before laughing and pulling away.

 

"Ow Damn it! Watch the goods," Alex shouted at John's retreating back. Laf just smiled and pulled John under their arm before blowing Alex a kiss. Alex watched his friends leave before taking a deep breath and heading out himself.

 

\---------------------------------

 

It was 6:30 and Thomas was pretty sure he had changed his shirt about six times already. He didn’t know why he was so nervous about what he looked like. It wasn’t like his first shirt was ugly or anything. He knew that Alex had seen him in way worse things (he tried not to think about the Christmas sweater his mother sent him that he wore to work. Alex spit his coffee out when he first saw it) and he knew that Alex would probably be in the same thing he'd worn to work. Yet there he was…in shirt number six, or was it seven? Clearly he's lost it. He finally got so irritated at himself he threw shirt number seven off and put on a plain grey henley with his dark jeans and stomped into his kitchen to check on the chicken.

 

The food was coming together nicely and would be done just after seven as predicted. Thomas was glad that at least that was stress free. Cooking always calmed Thomas down when he needed something to focus on that wasn't work or family drama. The kitchen was a nice refuge for him. It helped him feel centered to cook for people he cared about. Thomas still used the kitchen as a bit of an escape, and when he was really stressed there were baked goods galore. The break room at work is where most of them ended up.

 

Thomas was just pouring himself a glass of wine when the door bell chimed.

 

"Okay…show time. Keep it cool Thomas. No fighting," He took a breath and opened the door.

 

The first thing Thomas noticed was that Alex was not in his work clothes. The man's jeans were worn but fit…really well. Christ Thomas couldn't wait to walk behind him. Alex was wearing a black t-shirt that said "Ask me abut my feminist agenda" and it made Thomas smile. Alex smiled back and Thomas was lost at how the man's eyes crinkled in the corners. He was so stupid over this asshole.

 

"Hey! I brought wine," Alex held up a bottle.

 

"And it's not in a box," Thomas put his hand over his heart and feigned surprise. He stepped aside and gestured for Alex to come in.

 

"Well I was going to bring Moscato in a box but I thought you might break out in hives."

 

Thomas was so busy starring at Alex's ass on their way into the kitchen he nearly collided with a wall and totally missed the second part of what Alex said, "I'm sorry what," Thomas tried to play off that he hadn't been starring but judging by Alex's snort he didn’t think he succeeded.

 

"I asked how long we have until the food is done."

 

"It's about ready," Thomas started grabbing plates and silverware, "Grab the wine and follow me to the table."

 

"We're eating at the actual table and not on a couch? I feel under dressed!"

 

Thomas rolled his eyes, "You look fine, shut up."

 

"Just fine," Alex asked while pouring himself a glass of wine and topping off Thomas' glass. He had a small smile on his face and the look in his eyes was pure mischief.

 

"I'll be back with the food," Thomas said side stepping the flirtation. Alex was not going to rile him up this early damn it.

 

"I will admit that you look JUST FINE yourself from my point of view," Alex's voice rang from the dinning room.

 

Thomas let out an unexpected bark of laughter and quickly grabbed the dish from the oven.

  
\--------------------------------

 

Alex was trying not to overthink. If he overthought about what he was doing at Thomas' and what he wanted to happen he'd surely freak himself or Thomas out and it would be a disaster. It was such a terrible habit thinking in worst case scenarios. He had to remind himself that if he stopped himself from doing something every time his mind supplied him with doubt he'd never have made it off Nevis.

 

He told himself to just chill. He let what John told him replay in his head over and over since leaving work. He was prepared…

 

Then Thomas opened his door and Alex almost jumped the man. Thomas was wearing plain clothing, nothing flashy or really expensive looking but God did he wear it well. Alex wasn’t aware he had a thing for guys wearing henleys but it did things to him.

 

Thomas came back into the dining room with a covered dish and placed it in the middle of the table. He uncovered it to reveal chicken with asparagus and red potatoes mixed with some other things just like he had said he was making. It smelled amazing.

 

"Go on," Thomas motioned, "If you say this isn't delicious then you're more uncultured than I first thought."

 

Alex scoffed but put some of the food onto his plate, "There is nothing cultured about chicken and potatoes."

 

Thomas rolled his eyes but plated his own helping after Alex had his.

 

Alex took a bite of the chicken and couldn't help the surprised noise he made. It tasted even better than it smelled. He didn't know what the chicken was marinated in or what Thomas added, but whatever it is it was magic. Alex continued forking food into his mouth unable to stop. He realized he forgot to eat his lunch, but even if he had he probably would be eating this food just as crazily. He looked up when he heard Thomas chuckled.

 

"Sorry," Alex felt his face get red with embarrassment, "I didn't eat my lunch and this is literally better than sex."

 

Thomas laughed, "I will take that compliment. Although the moans you were letting out were compliment enough," he took a drink of his wine and raised a brow.

 

Alex almost choked on the bite he was chewing, "Oh my god I was not moaning."

 

"Like a porn star."

 

"Where did you learn to cook like this? Did you go to a class? Was it a requirement to be from the South? Is it witch craft? Are you a Hufflepuff?"

 

"Hufflepuff's don't automatically know how to cook or like to cook you know. That's profiling," Thomas held his nose high.

 

"Oh my God…are you a Hufflepuff," Alex asked excitedly.

 

Thomas snorted, "No I'm a Ravenclaw."

 

"Oh," Alex nodded, "I can see that."

 

"And you?"

 

"Slytherin, duh."

 

"Oh course you are," Thomas replied. They ate for a few more minutes before he continued, "I learned to cook from a man named Felix Manning."

 

"Now that's a name," Alex nodded seriously, "Who's he?"

 

"He was my families cook when I was growing up."

 

"You had a family cook," Alex asked but quickly continued, "No of course you did you rich dick."

 

Thomas tossed his napkin at Alex but smiled, "My parents are both shit cooks. They hired Felix after he retired from the Navy. He was with us from when I was five to sixteen. Taught me pretty much everything I know about the kitchen…and well everything else," Thomas paused, "He was the first person I told I was gay you know? He just shrugged and said it didn't matter who I loved as long as I did it right and with my whole heart like he had with his Petunia," Thomas had a far off look to his face with a small smile, "He was one of the most patient people I've ever known. Never yelled at me when I messed up or made a mess…just helped me figure out what I did wrong and helped me clean up."

 

"He sounds like a good guy."

 

"Honestly," Thomas chuckled but it was not a joyful one, "I was closer with Felix than I've ever been with my parents. When he died," Thomas shook his head and frowned, "I couldn't go in the kitchen for almost a year."

 

Alex reached across the table and put his hand on Thomas', "Sometimes it's harder to lose someone you aren't blood related too…the people you've chosen to let in your life, chosen to share pieces of yourself with. He must have really cared about you. I'm sorry he's gone, but I'm glad that you're able to still find solace in the kitchen where you two connected."

 

Alex thought he might have ruined the mood or mis-stepped when Thomas didn't say anything but just stared at Alex. Alex was just about to apologize when Thomas spoke.

 

"Alex I need to know what we’re doing here."

 

Alex leaned back in his chair and lowered his hands back into his lap suddenly nervous, "What we're doing here? We're having dinner…right?"

 

Thomas shook his head and sighed, "Don't play dumb Alex."

 

Alex swallowed and took a big breath, "Okay…well. To be honest I don't know what we're doing because I don't know what you want from me."

 

"You don’t know what _I_ want from _you_ ," Thomas' eyebrows rose.

 

Alex groaned, "Listen I like you okay? You're an asshole…you're a wine snob, a republican," Alex grimaced, "You wear too much purple-"

 

"How did you start with liking me to-"

 

"You tear literally every article I right to shreds and fight me on every topic whether it be on the national banking system or what candy bar is better."

 

"Three musketeers clearly," Thomas said matter of factly making Alex smile.

 

"Well you're wrong because clearly snickers is better but that's besides the point."

 

"The point that I'm insufferable?"

 

"No because all of tat shit I just said is true but," Alex let out a breath.

 

"But," Thomas drawled looking bored but Alex could tell he was keyed up not knowing what to expect.

 

"But you are amazing," Alex said softer, "You never look down on me for not being from some prominent family or place, for not coming from money. You drink cheap beer and wine with me at the bar even when you clearly want to order some hundred year old scotch. Every article we finish together is always better than what I write alone and…that fucking kills me to say," he let out a frustrated growl, "Writing is the one thing I'm good at and it's still shit to you but it always turns out better when we're done. I wish I could just," he stopped and then pushed on, "I've never had someone just tear my writing apart before and feel okay afterwards. I should hate you for that but I like you more because of it."

 

"You're an amazing writer Alex," Thomas said.

 

"I'm a mess," Alex laughed but then looked up at Thomas seriously, "I can talk to you about any topic, argue with you about anything and I still want to come back for more. I…I don’t want to lose that. I can't mess this up."

 

Thomas nodded and then asked, "Are you done?"

 

"No," Alex added mostly for spite, "I also need to mention that I want to climb you like a tree most of the time and shirt you're wearing would look better on the floor," he nodded as if stating some fact about the table, "okay now I'm done."

 

Thomas smiled slowly, "You really are a mess," he chuckled.

 

Alex sagged in his seat a bit dramatically, "Human disaster."

 

Thomas cleared his throat, "I can't promise you that everything will be easy or that we won’t fight because let's be honest," Thomas raised one brow, "We're gonna fight. It's kinda what we do."

 

Alex snorted.

 

"But," Thomas sat straighter, "I really like you too Alexander. You short, chaotic, pain in my ass human disaster. I would like to see where this can go…for the long haul."

 

"I'm not that short. I'm average."

 

"In munchkin land maybe," Thomas got up and circled the table.

 

"Asshole," Alex grumbled but then raised his brows, "What are you doing," he stood up when Thomas pulled his hand to stand.

 

"When the French finish negotiations they seal it with a kiss."

 

"You're not French and no they don't," Alex was already leaning forward despite his words.

 

When Thomas kissed him it was soft and almost over too quickly. Alex had other ideas though and threw his arm around Thomas' neck and pulled him down to lock their lips together. Thomas' lips were plush and felt so good against Alex's. The scruff of Thomas' face that was always so well groomed was almost soft. It was softer than Alex had imagined. Alex felt Thomas run his tongue along the seem of Alex's lips and let his mouth open to let the other man explore. Alex would have let his oxygen run out if Thomas hadn't leaned back first breaking the kiss.

 

"Let's go watch some TV, yeah," Thomas asked almost breathless.

 

"John told me not to put out on the first date," Alex blurted out internally cursing himself, "You won't respect me in the morning."

 

Thomas chuckled and pulled Alex towards the living room, "A gentlemen would never take advantage on the first date," he pressed a kiss to Alex's lips and then pulled them both down to sit pressed against each other on the frankly too comfortable couch.

 

"Well…I guess this is okay then," Alex tried to be casual but he basically sat in Thomas' lap while the other man turned on a history channel documentary.

 

"Comfortable now," Thomas asked trying to be annoyed but Alex could see the amusement in his eyes.

 

Alex leaned in and gave Thomas a lingering kiss before settling and turning towards the television, "Yeah I'm good."

 

Alex couldn't see but Thomas was smiling.

_____________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for some fluff and...some smut. (which if hard to write so sorry)
> 
> I had to write this chapter because...I really love these two? 
> 
> Anyway! Enjoy! Comments are always welcome!!!!!

"So what _are_ our plans tonight," John asked while he swung his and Lafayette's hands between them. The weather was chilly but not so cold that they couldn't walk home if they weren't in a hurry.  
  
Lafayette smiled, "First we must go get hot chocolate."  
  
"I can totally get behind that," he raised their joined hands to kiss Laf's knuckles. The two of them talked about Lafayette's visit with the Monaghan family the day and the adventure of adopting seven kids. Turned out that the Monaghan house was a haven of lost kids from all the friends made over the years from their official kids. Their house became a place where the kids' friends could come anytime they needed a safe place to be or have someone to talk to.  
  
"It is nice to know that people like them still exist," Laf added softly.  
  
"Yeah," John squeezed Laf's hand, "You're one of those people."  
  
Laf laughed, "Oh?"  
  
"You're going to be a great parent if and when you decide to be one."  
  
"Do you want to have children," Laf bit their lip.  
  
When John was younger he never believed he would ever want kids. He was always so full of anger and doubt. He never felt like he could live up to what he was supposed to be. How could he be a father when _his_ father found him so lacking? How would he ever be a father if he couldn't even make himself love a woman…or himself? Then he got older and started to realize that there was nothing wrong with him. He would never be what his father wanted, but that didn't mean he wasn't valid or that he was worthless. When he started to heal himself and love himself he was able to open his heart to others. John thought that Lafayette filled his heart so much that he could never love someone the same way. Lately though, more so since starting this series, John had been thinking about having kids. He thought about it mostly when he thought of his future with Lafayette.

"To be honest, I've thought about it a lot lately. I'd like to adopt or foster I think…I mean don't get me wrong," John quickly added, "I think it would amazing to have a miniature you or me running around but like…there are so many kids out there looking for homes already," John frowned, "I just want to give someone a good home where they won't have to worry about where their next meal is coming from or if their gonna have a place to stay tomorrow…and yeah," It made John sad thinking about it sometimes.  
  
Laf stopped them on the side walk. They pulled John towards them and enveloped him in a hug, "Yes Mon Amor," Laf kissed him softly on the lips with a fond smile, "I think it is a wonderful thing to want," they wrapped their arm around him and led the two of them into the shop.  
  
Café Sunset got it's name from the stained glass windows on the West side of the building. When the sun came through the panes the different prints sent cascading colors throughout the place creating a beautiful collage on people's clothing and the walls. John had brought Lafayette here about four months into their friendship after Lafayette complained that Starbucks' hot chocolate was shit. The two grabbed their hot chocolate and were about to walk out when Lafayette stopped them.  
  
"Do you remember the first time we came here together?"  
  
"Yeah," John smiled, "You wanted real hot chocolate. You were wearing your white ruffled shirt and when we got here the colors made you look like a painting," John kept that image fresh in his mind even to this day.  
  
Laf's face softened, "That was the day I knew that I had lost my heart to you. Right here over in that chair," they pointed to the table near the back.  
  
"Really," John felt his face redden with embarrassment, "I was such a dork though…I talked about turtles for like twenty minutes. Could you pick like any other time?"  
  
Laf chuckled but shook their head, "Non. You were so cute Mon Chou. You're eyes danced when you spoke," Laf led them outside to continue walking, "You're smile was brighter than the colors coming from the windows."  
  
John ducked his head, "You were way prettier…I couldn't stop rambling at you because you made me so nervous when you gave me your full attention."  
  
"You always have my full attention," Laf kissed the side of his head and he had to turn and peck their lips, "Let's walk through the park."  
  
The two of them strolled along the bike trail that circled a pond. They had taken this route many times before. It was a nice break from walking along the busy streets. Sometimes they would take bread to throw to the ducks and birds when they weren't in a rush.  
  
"This was where you asked me out for the first time," Laf pointed to the bench they were walking by.  
  
John Laughed, "Yeah and the ducks got a show when you nearing bowled me over the side of the bench."  
  
Laf laughed delighted and light. John wanted to capture it in a jar forever.  
  
"Merde John! It was torture! A whole year of wondering if you were interested! What did you expect!?"  
  
John calmed his laughter, "Okay okay it wasn’t exactly easy on my end either! I didn't want to freak you out! It all worked out in the end anyway didn't it," he asked giving his best innocent look.  
  
Lafayette rolled their eyes, "I suppose so."  
  
Once out of the park Lafayette pulled them into a family owned Chinese place by their place.  
  
"Mmmmm," John inhaled the smell coming from the kitchen, "I would kill for some pot stickers."  
  
"I'd like to pick up an order I sent in earlier," Laf said to the hostess. She wasn't the normal woman that was there. John thought he remembered she went to college out West. Laf turned back round, "It will be a few minutes," they pointed to the table in the window, "That's where you blurted out and asked me to move in with you."  
  
John groaned, "Why is every story about me blundering."  
  
Laf smiled and quickly kissed away his pout, "You are not blundering. You are brave. So brave," Laf closed the distance and kissed him deeper. John could honestly stay there longer but they separated when the hostess returned with their food.  
  
Laf laughed unexpectedly.  
  
"What," John raised a brow as they walked down their street.  
  
Laf pointed down the way, "That was where you first ran into a street poll because you were staring at me with no shirt on," Laf continued even when John let out an outraged noise, "And that was where you and I made our first pair of snow angels right before you slipped and crushed the neighbors snowman," Laf continued to laugh.  
  
"Okay okay," John growled but it was playful and he was fighting a smile, "I honestly think it was just Alex rubbing off me…I'm not normally that clumsy," John pointed his finger accusingly at Lafayette, "And you took your shirt off on purpose. That was premeditated."  
  
Lafayette sighed but it sounded fond, "You fell right into my nefarious plans."  
  
They took the elevator up to their floor.  
  
"This elevator was the first place you ever cried in front of me," Laf said softly.  
  
John looked to Lafayette quickly, "What?"  
  
"You had just gotten off the phone with your sister and we were going out. I said we could stay in, but you were so adamant you were fine. When your tears came I wanted nothing more than to hold you and never let go. I never wanted anyone to make you cry ever again because you should never feel that helpless or low," he sounded so fierce.  
  
John was at a loss so didn't say anything while they exited the lift and went into their apartment. They took their outside gear off and dropped the food on the coffee table. John kissed Lafayette and the both changed into comfortable clothing.  
  
John went to the kitchen and grabbed drinks.  
  
"Hey baby! Do you want water or something else?"  
  
There was no reply so John grabbed two waters and headed to the living room.  
  
"I brought you water cause I didn't hear you if you…," "John trailed off when he saw Laf standing in the middle of their living room with a nervous look on their face, "Baby what's wrong?"  
  
"John come sit down," Laf sat on the couch and John joined him.  
  
"Is everything okay," John could feel panic welling up in himself. What could possibly have gone wrong?  
  
"Mon Amor…John," Laf seemed to take a steadying breathe, "I have all of these snapshots in my mind of us. In every one of them I find myself falling more for you. I fall in love with you everyday John. Even when we fight…it turns my stomach to be mad at you. In the time I've known you…you've grown so much John," Laf smiled, "I've seen you learn to love yourself…to be loved and to trust and, "Laf sniffled, "sometimes it's overwhelming that I get all of you this way. You make me want dance in the streets and be myself. I feel most beautiful in your eyes John and…," Laf cleared their throat and looked John in the eyes more seriously, "I want children John. I want to have children with you. I want to see you as the loving father I know you'll be…I want to be there together in the park when we're 80 feeding the ducks and fighting over the last pot sticker so, "Laf let out a shallow breathe and dropped down from the couch onto one knee.  
  
"Holy Shit," John could feel tears quietly rolling down his cheeks but he didn't care because Lafayette…wonderful beautiful impossible Lafayette was kneeling in front of him with a small velvet box.  
  
"John Laurens will you marry me," Lafayette opened the box to reveal a platinum band with a delicate design etched into it.  
  
John flung himself at them, "Yes!"  
  
John felt himself crying but he figured it as okay because Laf was crying too.  
  
He pulled back and kissed his fiancé. He liked the sound of that. Lafayette pulled back and a few more deep kisses to put the ring on John's finger.  
  
"This is where we got engaged," Laf chuckled through the wetness of their voice.  
  
"And I didn't do anything clumsy or stupid this time," John exclaimed.  
  
"Oh John," Laf pull him back in for another kiss, "You were always the one so brave. You took all these leaps of faith and I…you made me take this leap. I wanted to take it with you."  
  
"Well we'll take them together from now on how about that," John smiled.  
  
"Together. That sounds perfect."  
  
\-------------------------------  
  
By the time the two of them made it to their bedroom they'd lost their clothes.  
  
John broke away from their kiss with a groan going to their drawer to grab lube before returning to the bed where Lafayette was laying. He jumped up nearly landing right on him.  
  
Lafayette laughed and just rolled to cover John before peppering his chest with kisses. Their beard tickling and leaving a tingly feeling in its wake. Lafayette never got enough of John's skin. The freckles that adorned him could keep Lafayette captivated for days without end. There was one memorable night while drunk Lafayette had connected some of the dots on John's back with marker to make constellations. Unfortunately, they didn't realize they used permanent marker and it lasted for about four days. Lafayette took their time working down John's shaking stomach relishing the thought of doing this forever. Lafayette was still a little in disbelief that the two of them were engaged.  
  
"Shit," John muttered when Lafayette nipped at his hip bone. Lafayette pulled John's briefs off and tossed the clothing somewhere behind them before discarding their own.  
  
"Mon Coeur," Laf sighed out when lowering into the v of John's hips. The friction was like a live wire.  
  
John pulled him into a kiss making it deep and a bit dirty. Laf used one hand with the help of John to shimmy out of the briefs they wore.  
  
"Fuck baby," John laughed a little hysterically before bringing his hands to both sides of Lafayette's face. His face looked stunned and it made Laf pause.  
  
Breathing heavily Laf asked, "What's wrong?"  
  
John laughed again, "Nothing…like it just," they shared kisses in between, "It's fucking hitting me that we're totally getting married. You are going to be my," he furrowed his brow, "Partner? Husband? Spouse? Which would you perfer," John shook his head, "Whatever you decide I don't care as long as we're married and I get to tell literally everybody that you chose me."  
  
Laf had to kiss John because if they didn't there might be tears. So they did and really didn't stop until somehow John used his distracting magic powers to get lube on his fingers at some point without Laf seeing. Lafayette felt one of John's slick fingers rub against their entrance just applying pressure and driving Lafayette nuts. John's other hand was stroking teasingly down Lafayette's length which made them glad the two had moved to lay on their sides at some point.  
  
John continued to rub against Lafayette's entrance until Laf couldn't take the teasing anymore and pushed back on the digit. John smiled into a kiss and pressed not only the one finger but two slowly into Laf's waiting hole.  
  
Laf sucked in a breath at the sensation feeling stuck between pushing back into John's fingers and forward into his hand. They squirmed at the duel stimulation and nearly squeaked when John found Lafayette's prostrate. John nipped down Lafayette's collar keeping his pace slow and deliberate. It made Lafayette crazy when John did this shit…but in the best way.  
  
"John," Lafayette heard the needy quality to their own voice.  
  
"What do you need love," John returned to kissing Lafayette on the lips.  
  
"Merci…I need," Laf groaned when John pressed into their prostate quickly in succession, "Please get inside me. I want to come with you here when we are together."  
  
"Sap," John smirked.  
  
"Oh fuck off," Lafayette slapped playfully at John's chest where their hands had been clenching, "I want my fiance to fuck me. Is that too much to ask," Laf raised a brow and kept their face as neutral as possible as John continued his actions.  
  
John smiled bright and it made Laf's heart stutter, "Not at all."  
  
Like a switch had been flipped John removed his fingers from Lafayette and rolled to cover them. He lifted Lafayette's legs up to place them higher around his waist like they weighed nothing. Lafayette honestly stopped being surprised about how strong John is, but it definitely never stopped being hot. John poured some of the lube onto his hands and coated his own length with it before leaning over Lafayette to join their mouths again.  
  
After that it was a clash of fast and slow. John changed his speeds and angles never really making Lafayette come. They started out with Lafayette's legs wrapped around John's waist as John gave deep slow thrusts. Lafayette had their head thrown back at the deep feeling of being so full with each push. After that, Lafayette had rolled them over and rode John quick while John held onto Laf's hips and tried to just hold on.  
  
John showered Lafayette with praise that made Lafayette actually blush at times.  
  
By the time the two had finished it was nearly 10 PM and Lafayette was sure that the neighbors heard everything.  
  
John shrugged, "Fuck'em. I'm too happy to care if those assholes have a problem with it," John's face was collapsed in Laf's neck which seemed to be his favorite place.  
  
Laf smiled and then heard John's stomach grumble. They frowned, "We forgot to eat our dinner."  
  
"We had way more important things to do."  
  
Laf snorted but started moving to get up. John protested but finally let Lafayette up, "I'm just going to get the food Mon Chou. I'll be right back."  
  
"Kay," John smiled at Lafayette's naked form.  
  
Laf rolled their eyes, "Less staring…more thinking about how you're going to tell everyone we're engaged."  
  
John's eyes widened, "Oh my God! I'm gonna hire a skywriter."  
  
Laf laughed from the kitchen and heard John call from the bedroom.  
  
"I mean Alex is definitely my best man, but how fucking cute would he be in a flower girl dress?!"

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

 

Alex had woken up very early that morning on Thomas' couch curled into said man's chest. He woke up disoriented and slightly panicked at the feeling of having an arm wrapped around him, but quickly realized who the arm belonged to. Alex couldn't help but grimace when he noticed the spot of drool he left on Thomas' shirt because he knew for a fact it would come back to him in some snide comment. Alex glanced at the clock over the sofa and noticed the time was 4:26 AM and then looked back down at the sleeping man he was using as a pillow.

 

Thomas looked so soft when he slept. His hair was all over the place somehow despite Thomas not really having the space to roll around on. Alex smiled and pushed some of the hair from the man's face and leaned down to press a kiss to his forehead.

 

Thomas stirred. He frowned a little and grumbled before pulling Alex closer.

 

Alex chuckled softly and pulled away again.

 

Thomas blinked a few times before he rasped, "Mmm where are you going?"

 

Alex's insides couldn't deal with this grumpy adorable version of Thomas. He kissed him on his lips and got off the sofa earning a grumble from Thomas again. Alex rolled his eyes, "It's like 4:30. I have to go change at home and get to the office."

 

Thomas sighed long sounding put upon, "Why you insist on going into the office so goddam early…"

 

"Journalism waits for no man," Alex replied as he started putting on his shoes.

 

"It can wait for breakfast…," Thomas yawned but got up to follow Alex to the door.

 

"Eh…never was a huge breakfast person," Alex put on his jacket.

 

"That’s a lie and you know it," Thomas scoffed, "The only reason you don't eat breakfast is because you get in so early and then forget. You'd forget your arms if they weren't attached to your sides," Thomas leaned in and gave Alex a long deep kiss that made him rethink leaving for a split second. When Thomas pulled back Alex snapped out of it.

 

"See you in the office," Alex said a bit husky, "Try not to ruin anymore articles with your pompous commentary."

 

"Fuck off Hamilton," Thomas called down the hall but Alex could hear the smile in his voice.

 

It was 6 AM when Alex sat at his desk and opened his email. No one else would be there for another hour and a half at least. Alex liked the early mornings he had to himself in the office. It gave him time to pour any restless energy he had from his nights spent stressing himself out and sleeping fitfully into writing without the distraction of his team. Not that he didn't love his team! He did! He couldn't be happier with the people he gets to share the office with. It was only that sometimes it was easier for Alex to fall back into his past habit of detaching himself from the present and going into a sort of tunnel vision of writing. It was his biggest coping mechanism in school helping him focus on work and when he wasn’t working on school work it helped him not focus on his problems. It probably wasn't too healthy but it got the job done most of the time. Sometimes of course he'd come out of those times with papers or articles that were almost completely raving mad (Thomas has been the recipient of some of the crazy things he wrote), but he's also come out of those times with some of the best writing he's ever done.

 

Alex sat at his computer with headphones on listening to the interviews Hercules scored with some of the students at NYU. Alex typed out notes without looking away from his screen. The stuents talked about the experiences they had from the group homes and the foster families they stayed with. Alex typed furiously and quickly switched audio files to the one of Lafayette's interview with the couple that adopted seven foster children. He listened through once and then restarted it to start taking notes. He was half way through the second listen when a paper ball hit his head causing him to jump and rip his headphones off.

 

"Good morning," Hercules beamed while Peggy, John, and Lafayette all laughed. They all seemed to get in at the same time.

 

Alex glanced at his computer's clock, "Shit it's already almost 8:30?"

 

John sighed but he had a small smile that Alex knew was fond, "How long have you been here?"

 

"Uhhhh," Alex shrugged casually, "Not that long…since 6."

 

"Merde," Lafayette rolled their eyes, "Mon Petit you need to sleep more."

 

"Never," Alex proclaimed with a smirk and then noticed the coffee and bag on his desk, "What's this?"

 

"A bomb," Peggy gasped.

 

"A murder," Hercules gasped.

 

"The Titanic," Lafayette gasped.

 

"A series of unfortunate events," John gasped.

 

"Literally children," Alex grumbled and grabbed the bag to look inside.

 

"It was there when we got here," Herc shrugged, "Thought you brought it."

 

Alex smiled when he saw that it was a chocolate muffin. There was a note that read "I should have gotten you something healthy but I know you have an addiction to chocolate so I'll enable you…for now." in Thomas' neat scrawl. Alex picked up the coffee and took a drink of the still hot liquid. It was exactly how he liked his coffee.

 

"What is it," Peggy asked suspiciously.

 

Alex took out the muffin and took a bite.

 

"Who is giving you chocolate this early with caffeine," Lafayette groaned.

 

"People like me. I'm pleasant. Who wouldn't want to give me presents," Alex said with his head held high. He sat back in his chair.

 

"Hmm," John smirked at Alex smugly.

 

Alex cleared his throat pointedly and asked, "What's on the docket today?"

 

\-----------------------------

 

Margarita "Peggy" Schuyler was not someone to mess with. She was the youngest of three daughters born to parents that got shit done. Her mother was lobbyist who kicked ass in her day fighting for civil rights. Her father was a now ex senator who moved his party for any cause he believed in. Her oldest sister Angelica was a force to be reckoned with who had a mind that was always two steps ahead. Her sister Eliza, like her, was adopted. Eliza was fierce in what she believed just like Angelica and their parents, but was able to accomplish her means without the fear Angelica provoked in people.

 

Peggy's skills in her job came from more of a con artist angle. She was great at playing the sweet girl that Eliza was genuinely while waiting to pounce when the moment was right to get what he needed and be sharp like Angelica. Her sisters always said when they were in school that Peggy would be a good spy, and Peggy kind of digged that she got to be a sort of spy in her career. Being a spy is all well and good except you don't get to see all the fruits of your labor. Writing allowed her a piece f that.

 

She met Alexander Hamilton through Eliza and an internship. Peggy had just graduated from Georgetown and was looking for an internship when Eliza mentioned one being open at her magazine. The guy in charge of the team put Alex in charge of picking a new intern because "he frankly didn't care as long as they don't cry everyday like the last one".

 

Peggy met with Alex outside at a café near the Liberty building for their interview. She never met the guy so she didn't know what to expect aside from Eliza's stories. She took a seat at one of the outside tables so she could people watch. It was fifteen minutes after their scheduled meeting time when Peggy noticed a man she was pretty sure was Alex walk towards the café with a small crowd of brunch goers.

 

"Alex," Peggy asked with a cautious smile. He didn’t look like she expected but then again all of Eliza's stories about the man didn't scream "normal" by any means.

 

"Ms. Schuyler," Alex smiled and put his hand out.

 

Peggy took his hand and shook it before gesturing to the chair in front of her, "Did you want to sit down," she added when he kind of hovered after their handshake.

 

"Oh," he seemed to realize he looked awkward and took the seat. He laughed, "Feels like I'm the one getting an interview."

 

Peggy snorted and then then schooled her face remembering she was supposed to charm this guy enough to score the internship.

 

Alex raised a brow but didn't comment. Instead he asked some of the standard questions Peggy expected in an interview talking about her previous experience and reason for going into journalism. They spoke for about a half hour before Alex asked, "What was it that made you realize I was the guy you were supposed to be meeting?"

 

It threw Peggy off a second but she replied casually, "Just a feeling I guess," she shrugged.

 

Alex gave her a look that clearly said he wasn't leaving it at that and said, "First instinct may be intuitive for the most part, but I think we both know that it's not just a guess. Give me more than that."

 

Peggy gave a small nod, "Okay. For one I was expecting you fifteen minute before you actually got here but heard from Eliza that you're chronically late unless threatened with death so I didn't worry when you weren't here at the time. The people that walked in around the same time as you all clearly said brunch eaters aside from the one woman wearing the large hat that was trying to stave off her hangover with a mimosa and sandwich and the accountant. All but three of you were paired up so it narrowed it down to the three. The big hat lady was clearly out as I knew you were a man by my sister's stories. The other man that was by himself was wearing a sweater vest and collared shirt tucked neatly into his dress pants. He was carrying his notebook face open where I could see an accounts received log and his shoes basically screamed accountant. Then there was you. You're wearing a blazer with honest to god elbow patches like the 70's never died with boots comfortable to walk in but nice enough for an office that’s lax but busy. Your hair is in a ponytail which is probably frowned on in any of these firms around here," Peggy shrugged, "process of elimination really."

 

A smile spread across Alex's face, "How are your coffee skills?"

 

"According to my sisters I'm shit but that's because they hate how strong I brew it."

 

Alex put his hand out to shake again and Peggy grabbed it, "This is the beginning of a beautiful partnership. I can already tell."

 

That was two and a half years ago and Peggy hates to admit Alex is ever right but he was. Peggy loved working with her team. She had always been able to get things done and move between crowds being whatever version of herself she needed, but here at Liberty and more importantly with her team she could be herself. She was weird, she was spontaneous, a bit rude without meaning to be, apologetic when she realized it, and relaxed. It was weird to feel relaxed in her job position with deadlines always over her head and a crazy person in charge of her team, but she never felt more in the zone then with her friends working on a series. She loved these stupid fucks.

 

She would love Alex more if he would slow down on the coffee intake this morning.

 

She threw a pen at him from her desk and hit his forehead.

 

"Ow fuck! Stop it Margarita," Alex rubbed his head and scowled across at her.

 

"Then stop banging your leg against your desk Alexander. You've had too much coffee. I’m cuttin you off."

 

"I've only had three cups," Alex said with an incredulous tone to his voice.

 

"You've had three large cups and a chocolate muffin from an unknown source. For all I know it could have been riddled with caffeine somehow."

 

Alex rolled his eyes, "Anyway…what are you digging up over there and," Alex looked around the room, "Where is everyone else?"

 

"Herc is heading to Columbia for some recon on their campus, Laf is going to interview another couple of past cases from Burns, and John is talking to a guy that came from Magdalena's…which you'd known if you weren't in a trance."

 

"Nothing wrong with a bit of focus," Alex stood up and cracked his back with a grimace.

 

Peggy gave Alex a good look. It wasn't unusual for Alex to come in and block things out to get writing done. If he wasn't out researching, staking out, or interviewing he tended to be writing like there was no tomorrow. Most of the time though, he wasn't in his trance like state unless he was either alone or under an immediate deadline. Yes Peggy knew about Alex's tendency to fill his alone time with writing  and researching like he was insane. It used to worry her a lot more than it still does, but over the time she's known him Alex's mania had curved significantly. The group pulled him out after work, on weekends, and whenever it seemed he was too much in his own head. There was no stopping the early morning mess, but Peggy figured Alex still needed the time to hyper focus like he did so she let it go most the time.

 

Today though, Alex seemed all at once more tightly wound and more rested than normal. She was sure there was more than one thing that was one his mind he was trying to silence. She knew this series was touchy for Alex. Before John had suggested that Alex was from the foster care system Peggy had her suspicions that Alex's home life when he was younger wasn't exactly ideal. She was good at reading people. It was what made her particularly good at her job. The thing was though…she tried not to read the people she'd met at Liberty like she would read a mark. There was something about Alex that made her want to maybe be actual friends with the guy when they met. Maybe it was his complete abashment in his appearance and enthusiasm to talk to her or the fact that he was wearing a shirt that said puck folitics, but Peggy wanted to try and just be herself and not analyze everything about these people. It was nice to have friends that she didn't have to read for ulterior motives. There were things of course you can't just ignore about friends even if they haven't outright said something.

 

So Peggy noticed things about Alex that suggested he didn't have the same upbringing she did. His clothes were never dirty, but they were never too expensive either. Sure he wore a suit when necessary and nicer looking clothes to events they had to attend, but they weren't designer. Most of time Alex was in jeans or slacks and a t-shirt with a hoodie and blazer. He looked like the cliché hip substitute teacher. He was constantly cold so he wore layers and gloves with a scarf almost as soon as a breeze started in the fall all the way until almost summer.

 

Alex ate almost only when reminded or forced into a break but when he did…his plate would be licked clean. If anyone had food left on their plate that they weren't going to eat Alex would try to finish theirs too. Peggy used to assume it was because he would be starving by the time anyone would pull him away from work or whatever he was doing, but now Peggy thought uncomfortably about the times he had said he hated seeing wasted food and the fact that he probably ate more now than he ever got to when he was younger.

 

Money was not something you discussed with Alex. Peggy learned early that you never offer to pay for Alex in front of him or he'd flat out refuse and his mood would sour. He made good money…great money really and the team made good money as well. Peggy still had a trust fund on top of her salary and didn't think anything of paying or not paying for something, but Alex was always aware of where money as exchanged. While interning Peggy thought Alex was getting paid terribly judging by how he reacted about money, but when she as offered an official place on the team later she was a bit taken back by her salary. It made her wonder why Alex was the way he was with money and why he dressed so frugally. Now though, Peggy started to understand the differences in their thought processes.

 

She had come from wealthy parents of good standing and careers. Her and her sisters all had sizable trust funds from old family money as well as money added from their parents. They never worried about money, food, buying clothes. It didn't matter who paid for who because it would be covered and someone else would just get next time or the next item. She knew he was lucky to be adopted before turning one to such parents. She didn’t know any different growing up, but thinking on it now it made her wonder what she would have been like had she grown up like Alex and the kids they were talking to. Would she still be where she was today? Would she still even be the same person? She honestly didn't know. She was so much the product of the influence of her family and friends that she couldn’t even fathom having the influence of the things she might have seen and been through alone.

 

"What'cha thinkin about over there," Peggy asked when she noticed Alex start tossing his tennis ball up in the air.

 

"Pineapples."

 

Peggy raised her brows, "Why?"

 

"How hard do you think it would be to grow them in New York?"

 

"Where the hell are you going to grow pineapples?"

 

"Senora Suarez wants to plant some in the roof garden," he continued to toss the ball.

 

Peggy thought about it and then googled about planting pineapples, "You could probably manage it. Is that what you're doing tonight?"

 

"Nah…just dinner tonight," Alex cleared his throat and shifted in his chair a bit before continuing, "She made me invite Elena Jones over for dinner and I'm pretty sure she's going to try and talk her into moving into her guest room."

 

Peggy looked away from her screen where she was reading about pineapple crops.

 

"When did you have time to invite Elena to dinner at Senora Suarez's?"

 

"We've been emailing back and forth," Alex shrugged.

 

"Has she agreed to be in the article?"

 

"No."

 

"So why are you still emailing her? Trying to convince her still," Peggy went for casual hoping to get Alex to engage further and was pleased when he became annoyed.

 

"You don’t just write someone off for not getting what you want Margarita," he scowled and looked at her finally stopping with the ball and putting it down, "She's a smart kid. Really excited about law school and involved in important issues."

 

"So you're what? Mentoring her?"

 

Alex scoffed, "Please! Me a mentor? Right. I'm just helping her with Econ and taking the opportunity to debate with an intelligent like minded person…and making her come to dinner so my nice neighbor can fatten us both up and maybe talk her into taking the room. Not that I don’t think it will be a disaster," Alex grumbled the last part.

 

Peggy smirked, "Okay first of all you're totally her mentor and it's adorable," she ignored Alex's noise of indignation, "Second of all if Senora Suarez wants to offer her the extra room she has it’s a great idea."

 

"It's not that it's a bad offer because I don’t…hell if I think she'd agree I would give my spare bedroom. No the problem is how Elena will react," Alex rubbed his temple.

 

"You don’t think she'd rather sleep in a nice bed and share an apartment with Senora Suarez than her car? The same lady that cooks amazing food…patches the holes in your clothes without you noticing they're gone…very sweet to literally everyone? Come on it's kind of a no brainer," Peggy shook her head when Alex still looked doubtful.

 

"Listen Pegs," Alex sighed and looked a little uncomfortable, "It's sounds amazing to you and it is…Senora Suarez is amazing and kind and loving and…," he frowned, "When you go from distrusting everyone and everything…controlling everything in your life it's…hard to just take something that looks like a hand out and put yourself in a position to be at the mercy of someone. Especially in that persons own home. Even when that person is as sweet as Senora Suarez."

 

"So it's like wrangling raptors," Peggy replied not really sure how else to compare it and hating being at a loss.

 

Alex left out a laugh and finally gave a small smile, "Yeah pretty much."

 

Peggy noticed the time and realized she had an appointment she needed to leave for if she wanted to research the shit she found that morning more. She got up and wrapped herself in her coat and turned to Alex before she left, "Alex."

 

He looked up, "Yeah?"

 

"For what it's worth I think you being her mentor is a really good…she couldn't have found a better one," and with that she left not wanting to turn the moment to mushy and getting some sort of rash from it or something.

 


End file.
